Posted by KaraS on July 17, 2004, at 1:07:48
In reply to Re: Does Effexor work - ADHD poem - Good book » corafree, posted by Atticus on July 16, 2004, at 21:14:23
> corafree,
> The kind of cat-and-mouse game you describe with your pdoc -- where you're trying to be emotionally open yet fearful of what kind of consequences or misinterpretations this may result in -- is so frustratingly familiar. Even after eight years, I still haven't figured out how to tread this tightrope. On the one hand, I'm thinking that holding back means I'm not getting the full benefit out of the therapy. On the other hand, I've become increasingly guarded about what comes out of my mouth because, as you say, I don't want to inadvertantly raise any red flags that aren't really germane to what I'm trying to communicate about my condition. This paradox makes the whole process seem so counterproductive sometimes. Often, on the drive over to the pdoc's office, I even find myself rehearsing justifications for things, such as why I don't feel comfortable lowering my benzos at this point, just in case it comes up. But even when I do ridiculous stuff like this, the sessions still strike me as kind of a rigged game. My pdoc's mind is (presumably) clear. The biochemistry in my brain needs a pharmaceutical cocktail just to maintain anything resembling clarity. Even with the Effexor, which makes me feel sharper mentally than I have in about 10 years, it's still easy to feel overmatched and just give in to whatever he's saying about me. Have other people come up with strategies to navigate this dilemma better than I do? AtticusI haven't read all the rest of this thread so please forgive me if this is redundant, but have you ever considered finding a new pdoc? I have been to one who made me feel as you describe. He was more than adequate with regard to his knowledge of medications but left something to be desired on a more personal level. I found his attitude to be patronizing or perhaps a better word is infantilizing. That was probably his intention. At any rate, I later found another pdoc who treated our sessions as much more of a partnership. I expressed my views openly and we discussed them as opposed to me feeling that I had to defend my views. I was much more comfortable with that situation.
Just my two cents worth ...
poster:KaraS
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040714/msgs/367054.html