Posted by BarbaraCat on May 20, 2004, at 22:09:41
In reply to Re: New to Board: Frustrated with Lamictal, posted by Nathan23 on May 20, 2004, at 12:46:04
Hi Nathan,
I sure can relate to the weird kind of anxiety and sometimes, like sac's email, I wonder if my depression, primarily godawful mixed states bipolar depression isn't really a severe anxiety disorder. I do well with a benzo soother but can't tolerate them for long.Your comment about 'background' anxiety is right on - always a flavor of tenseness, something bad about to happen. It's really in my mind, mainly fear about not being able to take whatever awful thing might happen. The thing is that it rarely ever happens and even when the worst has happened, I was able to handle it just fine. I'm really a very strong capable and gutsy person, but this habitual anxiety is wearing me down.
When I was on SSRI's and when they worked (Zoloft primarily), I didn't experience this kind of ultra-sensitivity. Of course, I didn't experience much sensitivity at all and this is a trait I rather like about myself - in moderation. My personality was alot different back then. It's harder now and I wish I could tone down the feeling volume, but I really do like myself alot more now even though it hurts more in every way.
I pretty much reached my limit, however, with the physical and mental pain and started taking St. John's Wort just yesterday, the Perika brand which is a good one. It worked pretty well for me about 8 years ago and I'm hoping it'll prevent a slide into depression, which I seem to be heading towards. Once I fall into that hole it's so hard to crawl out of and SJW can't handle a major slide. The side effect profile of SJW is mild so we'll see. I won't do SSRI's again and probably not any other prescription med. So if this doesn't work, I'll ride it out bareback until the undertow spits me out again. I'm getting pretty good at this but it's such a drag.
>
> I have felt like the lamictal and/or the lithium has been making me feel more anxious and irritable. It's a different anxiety than the anxiety I experienced back when I used to get panic attacks though. This anxiety is more like an underlying anxiety...always in the background but it feels like it's masked over by something that keeps it from feeling like my more traditional anxiety.
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:238206
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040515/msgs/349039.html