Posted by scarlett7 on May 14, 2004, at 12:26:42
I'm new to the board but unfortunately am not new to meds. I'm BP1 and used to take lithium and topamax, but went off the lithium last year because it was causing other medical problems (it worked great as a mood stabilizer). I did okay for awhile, but over the past three months, I severely injured my L foot and ankle w/ stage IV tendonitis, lost my job because I could not take unpaid medical leave, lost two pets (both died), and am immobile and housebound. Now, I am severely depressed and can not seem to shake it, despite the admonition of others to "see how things could be worse," etc. I used to be very active and used exercise as a way of relieving stress, but now I am on crutches and in casts, and can barely walk across the apartment.
My doctor wants to put me on Lamictal for BP depression, but I am really scared of the rash.
Hypochondria is (and always has been) one of the major features of my depression, especially given all of my fears right now around my foot injury, etc. At the same time, I know that I am almost delusional with my obsessions about health and that it is a catch-22: the less I treat my depression, the more I will worry about dying; etc.
How much of a risk is rash? Does Lamictal really work for BP1s w/ depression? Have any of you tried both Lamictal and lithium? Has Lamictal been as effective for you as lithium?
For me, Li was the silver bullet, but it caused thyroid nodules and goiter, and I went off before more things started.
I've also been on many other things, and could just start an SSRI, but I know that it most likely won't work for me like a mood stabilizer. Right now, the Topamax just isn't cutting it, though it works great for me as an add-on.
Thanks for any advice/support you can give. I need to make some kind of decision...basically, I spend all day reading the paper, crying and feeling guilty and burdensome to everyone who "has" to help me do things like fix my meals and carry things for me, all feelings that I know are my disease talking. It's just that I am fiercely independent. Then, I feel guilty for not being more grateful that I don't have cancer, or lupus, or something more serious. And the self-hate goes on.
And to think that I almost forgot for awhile that I was even bipolar!
Scarlett
poster:scarlett7
thread:346808
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040510/msgs/346808.html