Posted by AMD on May 6, 2004, at 22:18:44
In reply to Re: Lamictal insanity » AMD, posted by harryp on May 6, 2004, at 19:51:08
I really don't think I'm bipolar I, but the doctor insists. It's rather annoying! I think I'm borderline (that is, between I and II, not borderline personality disorder), and they classified me bipolar I to be "safe," but the medications have wrecked havoc with my mental states.
Celexa has worked very well for four years. I did drink a lot, probably to self-medicate the 'highs' (it made me feel a little 'calmer' the next day), but I was never depressed or delusional. Except my drinking started to get out of hand. Next thing I know, they tell me "go to AA" (good advice) and "oh, take all these new meds" (so far, really bad advice).
I tried Lithium. It turned me into a nimwit with no social abilities, dry mouth and acne, and complete anhedonia.
Switched to Lamictal, low dose. 25 mg lifted my mood a bit, but 50 mg made me feel spaced out. I've been on 25 mg for three months, and every week I find find something new to obsess about, which gets me depressed, can't think ... so I will have one or two weeks of clear-headedness, and a hellish two or three days when I just want to sleep. Total cyclothymia. This never happened on Celexa (and alcohol). I've stopped the alcohol ... not sure if it'd happen on just the Celexa alone. I suspect now Lamictal is causing this, partially.
Went to pdoc, said, "hey I'm obsessing," so they up the dose of Lamictal and prescribe Zyprexa. I take Zyprexa one night and now, a week later, I /still/ have latent side-effects (dry mouth, finally subsiding), really breaking out, and haven't been able to think clearly for over a week. Very, very frustrating. Thinking about dropping the dose of Lamictal back to 25 mg to avoid its side effects, and I am /not/ taking Zyprexa ever again.
(All the while I've continued to take Celexa.)
In fact, I'm seeing my pdoc tomorrow, and for once I'm going to dictate the allowed course of treatment: no AP's, no mood stablizers for now. If they want to switch my AD, or take me off an AD, OK. But we need to do one thing at a time, in a controlled fashion. Not up and add, add and up, drop this, start that in one- or two-week rotations.
I'm just worried all this stuff has permanently damaged by cognitive function and abilities. It's been so long since I felt normal (not drugged) that I don't even know if I'll recognize it when I see it.
(Ah, I miss the days when I thought depression was simple: first major depression, thought "this is sooooo horrible!," took Celexa, it worked, I figured, "I'm cured for life!" Oy! Happiness in ignorance! Little did I know the can of worms I may have been opening...)
poster:AMD
thread:344045
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040505/msgs/344180.html