Posted by Scott in Vermont on April 12, 2004, at 10:01:35
In reply to Does Anyone Ever Really Get Better?, posted by AlexandriaS on April 11, 2004, at 11:53:04
I think the obstacle to answering your question is truly defining the phrase "get better". The human condition that no one can qualify is the individual perception of suffering. I know what my situation is, and while it may be similar in characteristic to you or someone else, the effect it has on me specifically will be markedly dissimilar due only to the fact that everyone is indeed different. This isn't a broken leg or a kidney infection; the issues we all deal with here affect the very core that makes us who and what we are.
I first hit the wall in 2000, and by spring of 2001 I was nearly finished. I sought help, and I “got better”. And things were better. Right now, things aren’t “better”. Both incidents (2000-2001 and 2003-2004) were for due cause (meaning something very specific triggered them). I know I'm bi-polar, and I’ve been dealing with it since I was 32. I choose to not go the daily meds route and convince myself that exercise, diet, and lifestyle will "control" it. I have good days and bad days. It worked, in its own way, until something came along and stomped me flat. All of a sudden, nothing worked anymore and I spend a lot of time curled up in a tight ball in the closet of a dark room rocking back and forth excusing away the reasons why I stay. But somewhere inside me my voice of reason reminded me that this is not how things are supposed to be, and I again sought assistance that I could not provide for myself.
I'm using Lexapro now, I’m in therapy, and I have a decent pdoc. In reality, things are actually getting worse in my life situation, but my ability to deal with them and accept them is getting better, so in effect I see things as getting “better” because I’m more able to handle them.
I’ll don’t expect that I’ll ever be “cured”, no more than a diabetic can be “cured”. However, I can manage my life around my condition. I stopped taking meds last time. I think this time I’m going to accept that even once I’m “out of the woods” that I can’t do this completely on my own. I would count that as “getting better”… but again, all it qualifies is my own experience.
I hope that my words here offer some encouragement. Look outside yourself for assistance, but look within for “getting better”, because only you know how you feel right now, and how you do and do not want to feel.
poster:Scott in Vermont
thread:335181
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040412/msgs/335499.html