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HELP! :( Obsessing...

Posted by AMD on March 15, 2004, at 13:59:36

Folks,

I'm in overdrive obsession mode right now. I've been diagnosed bipolar I and have been medicating it on lamitcal 25 mg and celexa 40 mg for the past few months. I think I'm rapid cycling, though, because I'll have a few good days and then something will happen to trigger an obsession, which in turn will send me into a depression.

Anyhow, this is getting VERY DISTRESSING and I don't know what to do about it.

For example, Thursday I felt great, clear-headed, full of energy, but not manic -- just 'normal' for once. Then, at the gym, I bumped my head against the pull-up bar. You know, standard "ouch!" moment, no stars, but a nice little bruise.

Now, a NORMAL person would shake it off, go out and have a nice weekend.

But I'm not normal. On the way home, I began to obsess about it: what if I've done brain damage? I have a headache: I must have done permanent damage. I started feeling nauseous. On Friday, I could hardly concentrate from worry -- I was able to focus a bit, though, and get some work done. Saturday, however, was horrible. I slept all day, depressed, worried about my head. Sunday the same; I made it out to read, but overall I couldn't stop obsessing. Last night I pictured myself having brain damage and being unable to function as anything more than a pizza delivery man. Today, at work, I am still worried. My head has had a weird 'tingle,' and I can't focus. And I'm telling myself, it's all related to the bump, when I know it's depression. But I can't believe it.

Anyhow, I am so frustrated -- I wanted to cry on the way to work, and I smacked the steering wheel out of pure anger more than a few times.

HELP!!!!!!!!!!

Is this a figment of my imagination? Are there medicines to help with this? Is this bipolar or OCD (perhaps both). Um, are there medicines, I ask again?

My next pdoc appointment is NEXT Friday, so I'm dying here....
:(


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