Posted by Smithfrau on February 13, 2004, at 12:04:35
In reply to Re: Provigil » Smithfrau, posted by PsychoSage on February 13, 2004, at 11:34:38
> I hope that happens to me. I feel so guilty for living like a basketcase. My life before mental illness was about striving, curiosity, achieving, and hard work. Now I wish I can just read a news article and understand what it means. I don't want to be paralyzed by racing thoughts and loops in my mind. I'll keep posting abut how I am feeling and doing.
By all means, keep posting: it will help you feel less alone. I know about life before and after this illness. I had a full National Merit Scholarship to U of Michigan and got my MS at Columbia. Worked in my field against all odds for twenty years, while the illness got worse and worse. Finally a p-doc who was head of a prestigious hospital's psychiatric program told me he thought I needed to file for disability or I would destroy myself. Three weeks later the disability was okayed. I don't say that with pride, quite the reverse, but I do think it saved my life. My nearest sibling had killed himself some years ago, and I was headed there.
As to being a basketcase, please try not to judge yourself so harshly: it will only harm you. I like to believe that I work as hard in managing my illness as I ever did in my career. I am super-compliant about meds, although my current p-doc and I have tried eveything in the field: we keep trying. I also belive in faith and trust. Not in the sense of religion, but in fighting to retain optimism. I should also mention that my husband is a rock; I don't know where he gets his patience. I see my p-doc every week and we see a family therapist every week too. I am also followed by a case manager from a local psychiatric facility. I feel I do my part and that is super-important.
I wish you the best. Write all you want, up or down, or questions.
sincerely,
Smithfrau
poster:Smithfrau
thread:312364
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040210/msgs/312854.html