Posted by sgoose on February 7, 2004, at 20:12:04
In reply to Bi-polar. Is there nothing I can do?, posted by VitalSign on February 7, 2004, at 3:23:48
brother scott i feel for you. i have been battling serious mental illness since i can remember. the best remedy i have found is to cut to the chase and get the scripts that are the closest to street drugs like uppers and downers. i'm talking benzo's, stim's... i don't believe in anti-depressants and "mood stabilizers" .. benzo's are the only things that stabilize me and the stims allow me to lift from depression and be motivated. find your path, find a doctor who cares.
> I was told I have bi-polar disorder. I have been taking 50 mgs of Luvox a day and 1mg of Xanax a day for 7 years for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. My new doctor said my main concern is bi-polar.
>
> He prescribed Depakote and I hated it. I felt terrible. Then I read about about the side effects. Life threatening pancreas possibilities out of the blue? No thanks!!
>
> Is there any alternative to getting mania under control without taking medications that scare the hell out of me after reading the package insert?
>
> I am tired of not feeling stable. I yell at my finacee and say hurtful things I don't mean. I have gotten physical with her like dumping ashtrays on her and break her stuff. I feel so bad and evil. Maybe I am just a rotten human being and this is what rotten people do? Maybe bi-polar is just a nice way of telling me I'm scum and to make a few bucks off of me? Some days I want to quit my job and do dangerous things like sleep with hookers, gamble my money away, and quit my job. Other days I want to have a normal life with a family, house and a dog in the yard.
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> I feel my life is dangerous to those that love me because I am so unstable. I hurt those that love me and I don't want to do it anymore. But i cannot bring myself to take these drugs that make me feel worse and immobile plus have package inserts that look like a Steven King novel.
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> If there is no other solution please be honest. False hope is worse than no hope. If I am stuck with this I have another plan, but I'd like to know if there is anything else I can do/take.
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> Thanks.
>
> -Scott
poster:sgoose
thread:310410
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040204/msgs/310711.html