Posted by holymama on February 4, 2004, at 14:05:39
In reply to Please give advice, any advice would help!, posted by Gisele on February 3, 2004, at 19:45:37
Dear Giselle, it seems like I have recently experienced many of the same problems you are facing. Mostly depression ever since I was a teenager, which has gotten worse as I age and have had children. (I am 30 now). Recently, the depressions have been lasting months -- 6 months last time. IN between depressions I would get these breaks of happiness, obsession (I definately relate there), where I focused intensely on one thing and neglected my family quite a bit. Nothing else just seemed as important. I went on an antidepressant last June (lexapro), which I believe has made me start to rapid cycle -- even now that I have started a mood stabilizer, I am still going through one full cycle a month -- a short depression, normalcy, a short hypomania...all over again and again. I beleive the antidepressant is responsible for my overemotionality. At least before I could stay reliably depressed for months! Now I never know, but at least the moods are more mild. I also went quite manic on my antidepressant when the dose was too high.
I wavered in my decision to try a mood stabilizer and in the diagnosis of bipolar, and now that I am months ahead of that, I don't even care. It is a stage everyone goes through. I finally came to the realization that the AD wasn't working. I was a mess. I might as well try the mood stabilizer! If it didn't make me feel better, I could go off. But there was this little glimmer of hope that the mood stablizer might make me feel better......
So new even though I am cycling still, I feel much better than I have in 5 years, and I am making changes in my life that I have needed to for a long time. I feel strong and confident and days are something to really look forward to. We are still tweaking the medication, and I feel pretty sure that I will have to drop the AD at some point. And I am not concerned anymore that I might be 'bipolar', or that I am on two medications. They fix my brain chemistry, and I usually tell people that ask that I went a little manic on my AD so I am on a mood stabilizer too, rather than saying I'm bipolar. It seems more appropriate, and a label is just a word someone made up anyway which doesn't do justice to all of our differences.
By the way, I have had no side effects from my mood stabilizer. Just for the first month I was tired. It's not been as scary as I thought. Good luck. Autumn
poster:holymama
thread:309051
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040204/msgs/309375.html