Posted by winterbluez on January 28, 2004, at 15:15:41
In reply to Bad times, posted by Lars on January 28, 2004, at 14:43:47
hi matt,
i can totally relate to all you are saying here.
i too had my first bout of severe depression after my{band days} ended. i played guitar and was in a popular band for years and life was great. eventually those days ended and we all went our separate ways and i tumbled into the worst depression imaginable till now. you see
major changes in my life{and probably yours too}
cause everything to change inside of me. anxiety,ocd, and eventually depressiuon set in.
i had the same exact feelings of losing my identity and not feeling like myself at all anymore and i thought i was dying too.
eventually i went to a psychiatrist and we treated the depression and ocd with prozac and xanax. eventually i started to become my old self again.
my problem now is i replaced my guitar playing band days with gambling, gambling ,gambling. for the last 10 years that has been my biggest hobby/vice
and as long as i was gambling i was so euphoric/ busy/happy{winning or losing didn't matter}that depression was a distant memory. well now i am in bankruptcy court and have pissed away thosusands and thousands of $$'s. so now i've had to stop gambling, the bankruptcy has killed my self esteem
not to mention taken away the thing i have identified with for years now and needless to say i am now in the worst depression of my life!!
i keep telling myself it will get better and the old undepressed me will return but it's had to swallow. well i know this was long but hopefully you can relate to the fact that your not alone in this and it does get better..take care
poster:winterbluez
thread:306501
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040127/msgs/306517.html