Posted by mattsy on January 24, 2004, at 17:19:37
Well... it's been years since I posted on this board. I had my ocd and depression under control for about 3 years. The last year I only had around 3-5 bad days. Yea...me. I have had it six years and it began with religious thoughts. Thing is I'm not religious, so those don't bother me when they occur. Actually are kind of humorous. Anyways... my real problem is I can't stop ruminating about my ocd. A week and a half ago I stop smoking(one pack a day for a couple of years). The next day the worrying started, kept building, building. I'm just depressed about being depressed my whole life. Wondering if it will get better? Wierd, I know it does because I have been this depressed(suicidal ideation) before, and with perserverence I (we) always prevail. Just this time the depression has really gotten ahold of me. Can't sleep, dry heaves, no appetite. Can anyone relate to this? I thought meds (200mg zoloft/ 60mg buspar) would keep me from getting this low. This is like my 4th major bout with depression in the last 6 years. Is this the normal route for ocd? I keep researching (one of my compulsions, i guess) medication and treatments to see if I'm missing something. I cannot think of anything else except how miserable I'm feeling and wheter or not I will recover. Does any of this make sense?
Thanks in advance. mattsy
poster:mattsy
thread:305107
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040122/msgs/305107.html