Posted by Lyrical13 on January 19, 2004, at 2:32:59
In reply to Re: which 3 meds? just curious, posted by ian32 on January 17, 2004, at 15:48:09
I have a lot of anxiety too when the depression is bad. But now I'm OK moodwise but very irritable and somewhat agitated. Every now and then I'll have a moment of panic for no particular reason and then it goes away. My pdoc says that BP2 can look a lot like depression with GAD. But it's really the agitation of BP2. And you can have a mixed state...depressed and agitated/slightly manic at the same time. BP has been in the back of my mind for a long time b/c of the spending sprees and the tendency to get way over my head with so many projects and commitments that I get overwhelmed and then the depression hits. But I always thought the same thing that your doc says, "But I'm not manic" Then my pdoc told me about BP2. It's depression with hypomania. Literally "low mania". Can be much more subtle and look like just a really good mood, lots of energy...but can also come with impulsivity (spending, sex, etc.), insomnia, talking a lot/too loud/fast, irritability/agitation, feeling like there's no time to eat/sleep because there's so much to do! It's very sneaky because it's to a much smaller degree than full blown mania. And I feel like after being depressed for so long, I really didn't have a perspective. It was like, "Is this normal? Cause I feel GREAT! Ecstatic. Better than I ever felt in my life!" My old pdoc brushed it off. Said it was hypomania..just a bit above normal functioning. But said that in our fast-paced Type A driven world, if we medicated everyone who was hypomanic, half the country would be on meds (I think half the country IS on meds personally...) So I didn't worry about it. But when I brought up the same concerns to this doc and told him what my old doc said, he said, "Well, hypomania can sure do a number on a marriage." That's for sure. I've had recurring periods where I'm spending all this money that I don't have. Then it comes time to pay the bills and I have no idea where all the money went. I mean I really didn't think I spent THAT much. But when you start adding it up... I spent probably $600 in the span of a few days on garden supplies and craft supplies. The garden stuff I actually used. Our yard looks great now. But most of the craft stuff is still sitting in our cupboard untouched. And when I look back, I can count about 15 projects that I started virtually simultaneously. I finished a few but most are still in the limbo state. Cause then the depression started creeping back in. Slowly and insidiously.
I dont' know if that helps any but if you think you might be BP and your doc is downplaying it, do some more research. Looking up BP and mood disorders online and at the library really helped me. As I read about BP2 I felt like I was reading about myself. And it is often confused with depression/GAD. If it rings true for you, bring the info to your pdoc. If he/she still doesn't think so, I'd think about a second opinion. Or if the line of treatment is working for you, then stay. But you are the expert on your body. No one knows you better than you. And remember...this is always hard for me but I have to remind myself... the doc is working for YOU. YOU pay their salary. So don't let them bully you or make you think that you HAVE to do what they say just b/c they have the initials by their name. You're in charge. You are asking for their HELP but you're not asking them to take over your life.
OK..I'm off my soapbox now...good luck with whatever you decide to do.
L13
poster:Lyrical13
thread:301696
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040118/msgs/302591.html