Posted by Dalilah on January 14, 2004, at 13:18:07
I don't know what the H*** happened to this site, but I can't find anything, so I'll start my own thread. Please respond.
I am bipolar. I keep thinking I'm not. I feel like I'm all better and it won't come back. With my mega cocktail of Lamictal, Lithium, and Seroquel, I think I've conquered it. But I am wrong. I may have stiffled it, but it's still there.
Last night I found myself all electrified feeling like I'm on cocaine and I can't come down, the very worst part of cocaine, when the high has worn off and I just want to sleep. I felt I could see electricity in the air. Earlier a friend had stopped by and I felt somehow like he was a million miles away from me. He was in a movie, not really there. Nothing I could understand, nor did I want to.
I realized then that for the last 4 days I had been organizing everything, and I mean everything, my socks and underwear, my receipts for the last 2 years, my entire big closet filled with art supplies, my work area and I mean totally revamping it. Meanwhile I was writing long personal e-mails to people I hardly knew.
I knocked myself out with mega seroquel (as directed by my doctor) and today I am weeping and tired and can't imagine why I'd want to get out of bed. In fact this is a pattern. Seems I'm stuck in a mixed state of hell and I can't get out.
And to top it all off. I feel I have no one to talk to. Everyone (all 2 of them) who can understand is too busy. And I just can't talk to anyone about this. No one understands really.
Thought you might and anyway it's just good to put it out there, I think.
Notes from Hell,
Dalilah
poster:Dalilah
thread:300684
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040114/msgs/300684.html