Posted by nicky847 on December 30, 2003, at 14:56:24
In reply to Re: Nicky847, posted by bluesfan on December 30, 2003, at 14:24:45
Great! You should get that Lucinda Bassett book..it was the single most helpful thing I have ever read..its a quick read too..
Didn't know if you were into Christian literature but since you are I also suggest picking up "The Purpose Driven Life"...it has been the #1 NY Times best seller for a while now and it has helped me get on top of the depression part of anxiety/depression this time around..
I'm 28 years old...I had my first panic attack when I was 25...I had always been a worrier but never to the point where I felt sick or had panic attacks..so right about the same age as you..mine were brought on by breaking up with my ex-fiancee whom i was living with..my mom had panic attacks too..and they started shortly after she had me and my brother..i believe she was about 26 years old when she started having them..have you been married long? sometimes a major life change brings on these symptoms..whether it is a positive change or a negative one really doesnt matter..for me this time it was changing jobs after i had been at my old one for 5 years..that and getting off of celexa...those two things independently i think i would have been ok with..but together at the same time was a bad coincidence..
> I read a little bit of the book by Lucinda Bassett on Amazon.com and it looks great. Her panic attacks are EXACTLY what I've gone through for a few years now. Maybe I've had this problem coming on for longer than I've thought! I will probably try to run by the mall tonight and get a copy if I feel like it. I've also been reading a book called "How to win over depression". It is by a Christian writer and it has helped me as well to focus on God. I know that He will make me a better person from all of this.....it is just a matter of getting through it. Reading seems to help me....something I've always hated doing in the past! Can I ask what your age is? I'm just curious how long it took for you to realize you had these symptoms. I'm only 24.....but I may have been leading up to this much longer than I thought!
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> > Well just post away whenever you start to feel overwhelmed..I can lend my experience to you as can many others here..talking about how you feel helps so much..
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> > One thing I can't stress enough is that right now you are in the thick of the woods...the 2nd week on Lex is very difficult...I venture to say you may feel worse now then before you started on the med..thats normal..and its normal to want to feel better NOW! have you tried keeping a journal? i feel that just writing down notes about how i feel on a given day helps me detach from my symptoms a little bit..and look at them as symptoms of an illness im recovering from rather than a part of who i am...
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> > i wish i could tell you a magic thought that would help this time go by faster or eaiser..but unfortunately the panacea for this is time..you WILL recover...and when you do you will feel better than you ever have..recovering from this will change your life..and it will change it for the better..i know it sucks more than words can express right now...but 6 months from now when you look back on this time in your life, you will be thankful for the experience...
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> > > Thanks again for your words of encouragement. Today has definitely been the worst day for me.....can't seem to get things out of my mind. I wish I could think more of hurting myself than others at this point.....if that makes any sense. I'm afraid to be around my wife right now because I'm afraid I will hurt her......even though I would NEVER want to. I would have an easier time thinking of myself being dead than her......maybe that is why I'm thinking of her the most. I called to get an appointment with a therapist today, but the earliest I can get an appointment is January 26th......so talking to you on here is pretty much all I've got. I'm doing okay at work today......but my thoughts are now taking over, soon to lead to an anxiety attack I'm sure. I just want very badly for this to be over!
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> > > > Bluesfan-
> > > > I also meant to ask you are you currently seeing a therapist? I think talk therapy could really help you through this rough time you are having...people like you who are honest about what they are experiencing can really benefit from seeing a therapist..I think it is very brave of you to be up front about the thoughts you are having...the first time I went thru this I was too scared to tell anyone about the thoughts I was having..then I read in a book "From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett that these thoughts were a common symptom of anxiety disorder and that they did NOT mean that you were homicidal or suicidal...those words were a godsend for me..
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> > > > > Hi bluesfan...
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> > > > > If I asked you not to think of a pink buffalo in a ballerina suit..and i would give you a million dollars to NOT think about a pink buffalo in a ballerina suit..you wouldnt be able to not think of it..thats what you are going through now with these thoughts..you are trying so hard not to think these thoughts that it is impossible NOT to think them..does that make sense?
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> > > > > Heres the thing with the thoughts..and how you will know you have won your battle with them...
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> > > > > you have won not when you stop having them..but when you stop being afraid of them ...when you know you are really really getting better..you may still have these thoughts from time to time...but you KNOW that all it is, is a thought, and that it will not hurt you..and that YOU will not hurt you..the thoughts are like a gory picture hanging on a wall in a museum and nothing more..you look at it..know it is only a picture..and move past it to the next picture..
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> > > > > then when you are able to disqualify these thoughts as the mental waste products of an overload of adrenaline, cortisol, and whatever nasty chemicals your body is currently producing, you will find you have them less and less often, until you stop having them all together..this process takes about 3 to 4 months..although right now at your stage in your med therapy you are at the absolute worst point..after this week and maybe the next 1 or 2 weeks you should notice an improvement...crazy as it sounds you GET USED TO IT..and when you do it goes away..
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> > > > > an important thing to do is continue to live your life..dont try and do things in a feverish manner to take your mind off things..but do things you enjoy a little at a time..these thoughts cause discomfort and nothing more...you CAN function with them!
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> > > > > > I just wanted to know about how long it took for your thoughts of death to get better? I realize you may still be going through this currently on your Lexapro, but I thought maybe you had an idea of how long it took for you to get better on the Celexa. This week has been as bad as before I was on the medicine, and I'm definitely looking for some encouragement. The Lexapro has really thrown me for a loop this week, and all I want to do is stay in bed!
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poster:nicky847
thread:294675
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031225/msgs/294734.html