Posted by socks on December 29, 2003, at 10:52:40
First, thank you for this board and to all who contribute. I am sitting here with tears in my eyes trying to come to terms with the idea that the above mentioned problems are my own. I have seen several Psychologists at various times in my life but nothing ever really made the difference. I would charm my way into getting a positive response from the therapist and they would pat me on the head and send me on my way. At 40, and with the recommendation of my current therapist, I am seeing a Psychiatrist, who has called my symptoms a "cycling disorder". He suggested Depakote and continued Wellbutrin. I have been taking the wellbutrin for almost a year but the Depakote is new in the last two weeks. I still feel awful and find myself more inclined to cry at the least sad feeling. My interest in my job is almost gone and I am avoiding reading my emails and listening to my voicemails for the fear of what they might hold. My background is simple; intelligent in High School but never lived up to my potential. Went to college and failed miserably during my Freshman year. Got married at 20 and had my first child at 25, second child at 28, both boys. Husband was a pot user until 4 years ago, everyday, 3x a day. I was a social user until 10 years ago and drink very little these days. I am the sole source of income in my family, my husband doesn't work due to his own psych problems. My job is high end, high stress with great financial rewards for performance and little for mediocrity. I go in cycles with doing really well to doing really poorly. I am in the poor performance period now and cannot seem to crawl up over the mountain again. As I read the "doctor babble" on the various websites, it leads me to believe that therapy is ineffective in these cases, which is scaring the hell out of me. I need to hear from someone that can offer me some personal experience with this. Someone that has been able to get in better control. This is the worst I have ever felt, please help!
poster:socks
thread:294284
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031225/msgs/294284.html