Posted by katia on December 1, 2003, at 15:08:39
In reply to Wounded by family...is it hopeless?, posted by Shannon00 on November 25, 2003, at 21:55:11
You're story is very familiar to lots, I"m sure. I've come to a place in my life where I'm no longer looking for validation from my mother. I've also come to a place where I have compassion for her and love, instead of anger and wishing she'd be different. She learned from her parents and so on. She only has done what she's known, if you know what I mean. This has taken years to get here, through therapy, the unveiling of cognition and underlying beliefs systems - basically the way I viewed the world and myself. It takes a lot of unraveling and you can do it, but you probably won't be "healed" by your mother. She is who she is and to go through anger AND THEN GUILT, is totally normal. There's lots of love there I'm assuming and it's confusing because you have to get through these feelings of anger while you work out and wake up from family legacies of narcissism. I don't know how old you are (I'm 33), but it feels like my generation is waking up from a lot of dysfunction. Therapy is quite common now. For me, what's been very helpful is to wake up to my own depression and my family's. Since addressing this and starting medications, it's helped tremendously in helping expedite therapy after years of walking through molasses.
anyway, just give it time, keep up with the therapy because it's in YOU where you'll ultimately get validation.
katia
poster:katia
thread:283838
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031126/msgs/285596.html