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For Stavros » Stavros

Posted by Elle2021 on November 24, 2003, at 0:12:48

In reply to Re: LUVOX or any other med for OCD: experiences wanted » Elle2021, posted by Stavros on November 22, 2003, at 22:17:46

Hi Stavros, good to hear from you.
I guess I will start out with how my OCD started.
I was about 10 when I started noticing some odd thoughts I was having. At first I thought I was OVERLY superstitious. Then, I started assigning inanimate objects with feelings. For example, I would sit on the couch as gently as possible for fear I would somehow "hurt" the couch. If I felt I had wounded the couch, I would do repeated tapping on it, until I felt it was "fixed" or "healed." I don't have this particular obsession anymore, but numerous others have developed.
The most common, overwhelming, and most anxiety causing is the obsession that in some way I may have been infected with AIDS. Logically, I know I don't have AIDS, but the obsession is there. Other times I worry about getting herpes. I completely REFRAIN from using anyone elses chapstick, drinking after them, sometimes even a handshake is difficult to manage. I bleach just about *everything*, especially towels. I also do not share my towels with anyone. Another thing I can't share is a razor. Basically, I can't share anything. For a while, it was impossible for me to imagine myself ever having a boyfriend because the thought of kissing another person was terrifying. What if I caught a disease??
If I tried to list every ritual I have, and how they go, it would take at least 2 pages. And, to be completely honest, discussing my rituals has BECOME a taboo ritual, if that makes sense. In other words, it causes me anxiety to talk about them, making me do the rituals. This is a great cause of frustration for my psychiatrist.
I haven't read Stop Obsessing, but I have read tons of articles on OCD, in an effort to cure myself. I haven't done it yet. I have been struggling with it for years, but I still have hope. A site I find helpful (although directed towards teens is Organized Chaos. You have to register to access it, but it is completely free. I highly suggest it. What medications have you tried for your OCD? A brief list of the ones I have tried are:
Celexa, Paxil, Zoloft, Anafranil, Lithium, Risperidol, Geodon, Effexor, Ativan, Klonopin, Trazedone, and others... Right now I'm taking Endocet, a opiate pain med, it completely relaxes me and makes a huge difference in my need to perform rituals. I'm going to talk to my doctor about taking it on a regular basis, but something tells me he isn't going to fancy that idea. :)
I'm going to start Exposure Response therapy soon hopefully. I haven't ever tried it, so hopefully it will work. There is a great article on it on the Organized Chaos website. If you want to register for that one go to: www.ocfoundation.org
Love to hear from you!
Elle
> Elle,
>
> I have been Dxed with OCD or more like ruminations but I am not convinced that actually right. Somaticaly i present with tightness in the face and shoulders. My mind want to figure out what it is that prevents me from feeling or going forward. There is something blocking me and my mind doesn't want to do anything until i can figure that out. So all my mind does is try and make sense of this. The best i can do is distract but it feels like i am ignoring an open wound. THis has been happening for 10 years. How does you OCD manifest itself? "Stop Obsessing!" by Reid Wilson is supposested to be a standard book i dealing with OCD? Let me know your thoughts
>
> S


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