Posted by john1022 on November 13, 2003, at 19:42:37
In reply to still with the dark thoughts..., posted by estorianna on November 13, 2003, at 18:55:10
Hi Estorianna,
Please, please don't feel guilty about not being available for your brother in his time of need. His death had nothing to do with you being online studying. Just know that when your brother was on Effexor and had the reaction he had, it really was not your brother. I truely believe it was the medication that caused this in his case. I look back to how I felt not too long ago and scare myself to death with the thoughts I was having and how easily I thought that I could go through with something like suicide. It wasn't me...it was the medication.
In my case I was lucky enough to have the support of my parents, but honestly they would have probably never known what I was going through or been able to actually honestly help me in anyway, sometimes all the support in the world isn't enough IMO. Like you said, it is difficult for especially men to open up about problems like these and I would have never told my parents about these problems.
So please don't feel ANY guilt, as I don't think that even if you were there it would have been enough to prevent what happened as the effects of these meds on some people can be overpowering. The medications causing these thoughts are definitely that much more powerful, they change people in some cases. Unfortunately, I don't think the Effexor brochure would have helped in this case as I don't think it would mention such side effects. Your brother was not really your brother when he commited suicide, much like when I have these thoughts I am not myself, rather just a body powerfully influenced by these meds in my case.
When I stop them in my case, I come back to myself and think what the hell was I thinking? It is truely scary. With that said, I believe in meds (finding the right ones of coarse under close medical supervision and regular check ups) as they have worked for me and I will continue having to find the right one as I do have a problem that needs to be fixed unfortunately.
The drug companies are in it for the money and will do all they can to not reveal the numerous potential side effects of these drugs, so I am not sure how you can voice your concerns. They may list a handful, whereas if you go to someplace non-biased to look at the side effects of anti-depressants like rxmed.com, you will see Effexor has a page full of potential side effects that have been reported by users. Suicide, suicidal ideation, depression worsening, and anxiety worsening are all side effects of effexor and most anti-depressants. As I mentioned they work wonders for many, but can have drastic results for others.
It is a shame about many doctors who will only visit with you for a few minutes and then send you out the door with a prescription to try without asking detailed questions. This has been my case in the past and I am lucky to be alive because of it. The last doc actually thought I was making up all the side effects I was having of feeling 100X worse and got upset with me and referred me out. Luckily the next doctor sat down and talked with me for 2 1/2 hours and then suggested I was possibly bipolar, where having these bad reactions to AD's is a common thing. She wouldn't prescribe another AD and instead I am trying a mood stabilizer (but I can't say if it is helping or not, I don't feel any better yet, but I am not feeling worse like I did on the last 2 AD's).
I totally agree with you about meditation and relaxtion techniques being helpful for some in particular cases. But in some cases some people (including myself) have serious chemical imbalances that cannot be fixed by relaxtion techniques alone in my honest opinion. Don't take that the wrong way, but it's kind of like telling someone with cancer to try meditation to cure there cancer. In these cases of a true chemical imbalance, finding the right med along with meditation or excercise is probably the most beneficial.
But like you said, for some people who have say situational anxiety or depression caused by an event in their life, I could possibly see relaxtion techniques and coping techniques to help without meds first. For me though, there is no underlining issues causing my problems, I just wake up one day and feel terrible and in those type of cases (endogenous/chemical imbalances sp?) depression, these techniques alone may not be enough.
I wish you the best in dealing with your great loss. Life throws us curve balls all too often. Stay strong! Feel free to post any more questions or concerns you may have. It is good to let your feelings out and to reach out for support. Best of luck. Take care
poster:john1022
thread:279518
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031111/msgs/279534.html