Posted by Dova on November 4, 2003, at 9:56:14
Briefly, I am a 38-year-old gay man living in the suburbs of Chicago.
I was diagnosed with depression in 1995, and have been on Zoloft (100mg/day) ever since. I have come to suspect that I am bipolar. In a cyclical sort of pattern, I go through stages where I don't sleep much, am highly creative, can't seem to turn my brain off, but also have incredibly violent angry meltdowns. I will quite suddenly explode (usually triggered by something very insignificant) and scream at whoever happens to be the unsuspecting victim. I am unable to turn it off until I have faced the "fight or flight" moment, usually resulting in my running away from the situation.
This is all followed by horrendous guilt ("What have I done?" "That person hates me now." "I should have done this or that..."). I then am forced to pick up after my mess and make amends, explain myself, etc.
These episodes have been happening since I was a child, often including hyperventilation. However, I am a teacher, and last week I scared a roomful of 5th graders when I had an episode. What a clean-up that required! My poor students are still a bit afraid of me, as they don't understand how I could be so angry and yell so loudly. (I have never had an episode at school, in 12 years of teaching.)
My question now is... how do I find a good psychiatrist in the Chicago area (I have a PPO), and what might he prescribe? Can I stay on the Zoloft? Please help!
poster:Dova
thread:276460
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031030/msgs/276460.html