Posted by BarbaraCat on November 2, 2003, at 15:22:43
In reply to Re: hypothyroid » BarbaraCat, posted by katia on November 2, 2003, at 1:33:57
> Ha ha. We're still on that! Alina is the name.
**I'm ordering it from Amazon TODAY so I don't have to keep bugging you.
> HOw're you otherwise?
**Pretty good. I just wish I were happier and less tense but am very grateful that I'm not in a crisis.
> I'm hesitant to start Li. if I am hypothyroid. I think I should try thyroid meds first before adding Lithium.
**Good idea. Lithium will just push it over and make you feel worse.
>>I was so tired today. I don't get it.
**Could be your thyroid. There's nothing like a low thyroid fatigue. It goes to the bones.
>>I can feel the listlessness and the sallow rooms after the sun goes down so quickly. Everything is sallow.
**Oh, that's a great way to describe it. Sallow. I know exactly what you mean about the sun and the sallow rooms. I've always gotten claustrophobic and depressed when I'm inside and the setting sun is coming in a west window. You probably know this one but it's always comforted me to know a great mind felt the same way.
There's a Certain Slant of Light
There's a certain slant of light,
On winter afternoons,
That oppresses, like the weight
Of cathedral tunes.Heavenly hurt it gives us;
We can find no scar,
But internal difference
Where the meanings are.None may teach it anything,
'Tis the seal, despair -
An imperial affliction
Sent us of the air.When it comes, the landscape listens,
Shadows hold their breath;
When it goes, 'tis like the distance
On the look of death.
-Emily DickensonGrim, but isn't that how we feel at times?
>>I feel stale and luke warm and shivering loneliness.
**Even if it turns out not to be thyroid, this coldness is telling you something that's probably more to do with physical than neuro.
>>Quitting drinking is a bit of an downer too I think. really. whereas before in my depressed states, I'd mask it with alcohol. or in an exhausted/depressed state = alcohol booster did the trick. How's your sobriety?
**Pretty good. I went off the wagon twice now for a birthday party and a dinner party, but only had 1 glass and it was plenty. I went right back to abstinence easily. Oh, there are times when I'd love to have a snootfull, especially when I'm cooking dinner, but the memory of how bad it made me feel wins over. I have no doubt that my problem drinking days are a thing of the past. It just ain't worth it, although I've love to find an equal high that you don't have to pay back.
There are days when I feel great, refreshed and clear. But others when I'm consumed with anxiety and tension. In the past I'd head right for the bottle because that anxiety is real hard to deal with and a drink would immediately put me in a better mood. Not fair!
Without it I notice how I much I ruminate and worry. If one of my cats is out I imagine wild beasts lurking in wait for it. I worry about money and winter coming on and there's very little I can do to take my mind off it. Life can seem very dangerous without something to numb out on. I think exercising alot more will help. In fact, its snowing right now in Oregon and I'm about to hoist up my petard for a walk.
>>Even Styron didn't get his first depression until after his 50's and it was because he QUIT drinking!
**Yeah, it's got to have something to do with what it was masking and the process of detoxifying. But his sure was something else.
> take care
**You too. And hugs to your thyroid.
-Barbara
> katia
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:238206
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031030/msgs/275823.html