Posted by ramsea on October 28, 2003, at 10:47:19
In reply to A few really bad drug trials, wondering whats next, posted by socialdeviantjeff on October 27, 2003, at 21:02:45
I suspect my childhood freakiness was in Asperger's too, though I'm told bipolar should account for the bundle of joy that I have been. ANyway, I hear you!!! A few thoughts. I read up a lot on AS when it turns out that my father/sister/son have their feet firmly placed in that spectrum, and learned SOOOOOOOOO much that as the Quakers say, "spoke to my condition." I actually regained a certain amount of confidence--it was a relief to understand why I had been like I was, and why everyone else had been like they were...and so on well into adulthood, well into the present moment. I really don't care that my pdocs laugh off the idea of me as Asperger's type---I think I know better, they are just seeing me now and I have made many compensations. But anyway--back to you---one thing I learned is that many high functioning autistics report that they need only a smidgeon of the dosage that neurotypicals need. So Donna Williams, for example, who wrote the famous Nobody Nowhere, and its sequel, Somebody Somewhere (or was it one of the other aspie-biographies?) takes only 30 mgs desipramine and says it changed her life. Someone else wrote that some aspies are helped by only 10 mgs of Prozac, twice A WEEK!!!!! Many aspies (and you see I am very much like this) get paradoxical reactions to medicines, too. So like sleeping pills make us stay awake, anti-anxiety pills make us anxious, anti-depressants depress us, anti-psychotics make us psychotic. A stimulant, meanwhile, may just calm us down. For me, alcohol isn't a depressant so much as it over-activates--it leads me into mania. So if you are at all like this, you may be processing your meds differently than a lot of people because of your non-nuerotypical condition. You may have never had a chance yet to experience the full benefit of appropriate medication due to dosages being set way too high for you, and not enough careful exploration of your life issues and what traumas you have suffered as a result of being a non-neurotypical guy in a world full of typicals. You are sensitive, aware and articulate, and it's not too late. There's every reason to believe that once you get your body detoxified, and find support on-line and in-person to address your trauma issues, your Asperger's, and the depression and anxiety (which often go along with Asperger's), you will find happiness again. I am sorry you lost your girlfriend over a drug-poisoning that wasn't your fault, but there are girls out there looking for wise and kind companions, and once you are in balance again, you will be able to venture out a bit more, with pride. You've nothing to be ashamed of. If you haven't read Tony Attwood's books, or seen his site on line, give it a go. He has a very positive, knowledgeable attitude to Asperger's. Also, OASIS website has lots of links and support forums. ANother book written by a 13-yr-old with AS is Freaks and Geeks, about kids with AS. It's very friendly and informative. Take care--and get back to say how you get on???
poster:ramsea
thread:274075
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031025/msgs/274274.html