Posted by fluffy on September 27, 2003, at 13:38:33
In reply to Re: Barb-cat...or anyone who can help me decide » fluffy, posted by BarbaraCat on September 27, 2003, at 0:36:28
Hi Barb-cat, (Katia, Chicklet, and all)
(don't have time for more posts to all of you!)> Well, I'm feeling better today. It's like the weather - wait and it'll change. Saw Pirates of the Caribbean and it was great. Talk about two different guys - Jack Sparrow and Will Turner. But I'm in love with them both! Guess that's why they call me bipolar.
***God I know, Barb-cat!! I've been feeling really good the past couple of days...maybe "too good"--GASP! (do you sense my sarcasm?--I hate that clinical language!). I think I talked my boyfriend's ear off last night...but boy did we have a great time. We went to a puppet theatre here in Houston--WOW!! It was fantastic.
>
> I like your decision tree idea. So, you've decided to go on tri for sure? You will be our official test pilot. I'm going to stay on lithium and ask for time release. I feel better today and hence feel better about my drugs, but I will be increasing lam slowly up to around 200mg.***I think that's pretty sound, Barbara. The addition of another drug can open up pandora's box, so you have to be really ready and/or disfunctional to do it. Maybe you just need some fine tuning. Pretty sure I'm going to go the Trileptal route unless my doc convinces me to try Depakote instead. (I go back and forth between the two options)
***And yeah--exercise really, really helps my "down" part. So does making sure I'm out with an understanding friend doing something distracting. As long as you're not totally stuck in a major depression. Then EVERYONE is an irritation...all those HAPPY people. I used to want to squash them all and cast spells on them so they'd be as miserable as me. And sometimes, just plain cable TV will do, or staring into space on my couch.
>
> You know, what you're describing about your bipolar starting only after taking SSRI's, if that's what I read correctly, sounds like Bipolar-III or BP-IV. I'm not too familiar with the treatment details since I'm most definitely BP-I,II (or am I?) but I recall that the treatment is somewhat different. So perhaps that's why lithium didn't work for you since it's more a BP-1,II thing. Of course, with all the esoteric stuff we're all taking and all disorders overlapping into the other, who knows what anymore. Don't remember if I asked this, but have you tried mongo doses of fish oil, as in liquid? I do think it's helping me. Makes the cell membranes more fluid.
>
***yeah--it's possible that i'm further down on the "spectrum". But at this point, I don't really care that much about the diagnosis. They don't even know how to treat BPII that well, so Jeez--I hate to know how the clinical trials are going with the other numbers. But I do feel I fit the BPII diagnosis fairly well.***I just started taking 1g of fish oil every day, and now I've gone to 2g. If anything, my nails are beautiful! Like an Asian princess. I think from what I've heard, it take awhile for anyone to feel a difference, and it is subtle. But it's a great beauty secret, eh?
> My vacation was so-so. My husband had hernia surgery and it was too soon, so we came back early. Then we went to a wonderful place on the ocean which was great until another couple joined us. My husband and the guy are friends, but I've always had a problem with the woman. A whiny victim/martyr bitch who complains about everything, is clearly mood challenged and refuses to get help, choosing to blame everyone else constantly, as in all the friggin' time.***Oh--DO I know about this! I think EVERYONE has this problem friend in their life. My therapist and I talk about this a lot b/c sometimes I feel guilty and ashamed that my insecurity and pride takes on such a rhythmic quality (spurred from the inside, rather than other "normal" people, who blame external circumstances for their moods.) Maybe your friend just needs to see a shrink to get herself in check.
> You know, we're all dealing with alot of stuff and we all have some days worse than others and moan more sometimes, but jeez, you've at least got to try! Here among my friends on this board, we've all been through hell, but we're at least trying the best we can to do the work, get help, pay for the office visits and meds, come up for air time and time again. Even though we have real bad times of paralysis and rage and stupidity, and even though we sometimes just want to roll over and give up - we don't, and it's damned hard work but we keep on fighting for our lives - and that's what I love about us. It's that 'I don't need help - it's all their fault so why should I do anything' whining victim crap that makes me see red. People who aren't willing to do the work and yet think it's OK to use everyone around them as trash recepticles - cowards! Hrmmph! I better stop now and think about something nice before I start acting as detestible. In fact, the swing I just experienced from the beginning of this post to now makes me wonder if I have cyclothymia!
***You and Katia put it all so poetically, I don't even need to say more. I understand completely.
>
> So, how was your show? Haven't heard about the outcome of it. You were feeling a little rocky beforehand. Did you manage to maintain your equanimity? There, I feel better.***The show went OK. I made it through, but I didn't really have my mind alongside. I didn't sell the piece, but it was more of a social event than a show opening. Lots of collectors saw the work, though. I drank the place dry, since i was so thirsty from the Lithium!!
hugs,
Katy
>
poster:fluffy
thread:238206
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030923/msgs/263752.html