Posted by pinkmartini on September 27, 2003, at 11:44:46
I've been lurking here for the past two days reading, reading, reading.
I'm pinkmartini. I'm a 39 y/o mother of two teenage boys, married for ten years to my second (and most probably last!) husband -- and I LIVE that ancient Chinese curse: May you be married to an INTERESTING spouse. :)
My depression and anxiety started about five or six years ago after moving to Alaska. I had no idea what was going on with me at the time and actually feared that I was being possessed. I had never had a panic attack before and so didn't understand the overwhelming fear and racing thoughts, etc. (blah, blah, blah...cut to the present.) And here I am back in Colorado, back in the sunshine, and back near my family. I have been healing slowly for the past two and a half years and my panic attacks no longer cost me any ER copays.
Three weekends ago, though, things really heated up and I found myself back in the doctor's office, sobbbing, pacing, etc. She gave me some starter packs of Lexapro -- which I was afraid to take.
(Did I really need to be on an antidepressant when most of the time I feel OK? This stuff is going to be changing my BRAIN CHEMISTRY for crying out loud!! And other screaming questions in my mind!!)
I scheduled another appointment with the Dr. so I could ask more questions: Is it OK to take Ibuprofen or aspirin while Lexapro is coursing through my BRAIN?! What about this Atvian that you prescribed (which I carry in my purse but still haven't swallowed even one because in the midst of an anxiety attack my biggest fear seems to be of TAKING STRANGE MEDICATION!) -- is that OK to take while Lexapro is ALTERING MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY?! Do I need to worry about any cold medications or what about my daily multi-vitamin? Alcohol? Can I still have a glass of red wine on Fridays? Will any of this cause any sort of FATAL INTERACTION with the Lexapro which will have established itself AS THE DOMINANT ARTIFICIALLY INTRODUCED CHEMICAL IN MY SYSTEM which must now be reported as "YES. I am taking prescription medication on a daily basis." on every clinical intake form?
I did forget to ask one question: Can I take Lexapro simultaneously with an Ativan, because I promise you, the minute I swallow that first Lexapro, I WILL have an anxiety attack.
I took the Lexapro and I had my anxiety attack, along with some minor stomach crapming, diarrhea, red puffy eyes and general brain fuzziness. However, I was really pleased with the lack of physical tension and anxiety that I experienced as the day wore on. That afternoon, I found myself feeling really good and laughing at something my sister had said -- and that scared me into having an anxiety attack. I know, this makes no sense: I had an anxiety attack because I WASN'T feeling anxious and tense.
And a question occurred to me: Is it possible to feel some measure of improvement after only one pill? And if NOT, then might I have done just as well on a placebo?
This morning, I found myself really reluctant to take the medication again, but I did. And then sat and waited for the side effects. No cramps, only a little diarrhea, minor fuzziness -- but my eyes are red and puffy and feel "stoned", like when I was younger and used to smoke pot. When I called the clinic to ask if I could/should lower my doseage to 5 mg, the nurse said that red, puffy eyes was not a symptom of the Lexapro and was just a coincidence and to go ahead and stay on 10 mg until Monday, when I could talk to my Dr.
That kind of bugs me. The other thing that kind of bugs me is the fact that when I asked my Dr. why she chose Lexapro for me, why she thought that, out of the list of medications she recited three weeks ago, Lexapro would be appropriate for me, she said, "I don't know. Honestly, I prescribe Lexapro to people first because I have free samples here that patients can use first to see if this will will work for them before spending any money." So, that bothers me. What might I have ended up with had she had a wider selection of free pharmeceutical samples?
Anyway, I've really learned a lot and gotten a lot of emotional support from reading all your posts. It's such a relief to know that I'm not the only one with my symptoms and that others have survivied and thrived!
poster:pinkmartini
thread:263728
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030923/msgs/263728.html