Posted by Eddie Sylvano on September 16, 2003, at 16:19:31
In reply to I need the truth about Dexedrine. (long post), posted by zarathustra on September 16, 2003, at 2:43:38
> I have turned to 'psycho-babble' for advice as I dont believe I can trust psychiatrists anymore; ...enormous message...
> Andrew.
-----------------If I read you correctly:
-You're gifted
-You're unsociable
-Your're fascinated with how things work. With subunits
-Drugs don't help youI'm just an armchair psychiatrist, but it seems to me that you've described the rough outline of someone in the autism spectrum (aspergers). Maybe investigate that.
Further suggestions:
You've been diagnosed with depession before. Do *you* feel like you're depressed? Is your mood relatively static over the years, or does it vary? Have you contemplated suicide? Do you desire anything? To me, depression is a subversion of the mind that simply limits our thoughts and motivations into an inert holding pattern, perhaps waiting for the environment to change. It's the brain giving up, having come to the conclusion that your life is no longer of any utility to the continuation of the species. It's evolution.
I've rambled on in previous posts about the fact that we are our minds, and our minds are mushy software with an objective. We don't control it through some higher function because there's no place for it. We blindly accept the thoughts and moods of our minds as our own, because we feel responsible for their existance (it works best that way). We resist changing our moods because they feel true; they feel "us."
If your brain has taken a dismal turn, it must be subverted, and the only source of useful subversion lies in input from outside yourself (things not from your brain). Outside information, and the acceptance of it, can really change people (scientologists and terrorists are some effective examples, if poor role models).
If you accept that you are depressed, then take some ADs (they'll help your brain form new connections), and take in some good information about yourself and the world. It doesn't have to be spiritual or anything, just positive and empowering. Resist that cynical part of you that you feel is you, and just do it. It's the only way. It's not cheating, it's just evening the odds against your maladaptive biology. You need to wrest control away from the current program.
As for the ADHD deal, depression can produce the same effects, so nobody's going to diagnose you as ADHD until that's ruled out (it's statistically more likely than ADHD so they treat for that first).
You've obviously got the capacity for change in you. No one else I know would take suggestions about their sexuality with any seriousness. That takes an open mind.
poster:Eddie Sylvano
thread:260543
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030912/msgs/260712.html