Posted by trauma queen on August 7, 2003, at 14:24:23
In reply to re: new to Lexapro AND babbling..., posted by mph-speedy on August 7, 2003, at 7:52:50
haha...
> Hey Trauma Queen -
>
> Whoa! is that a self imposed moniker or did someone else christine you?speedy...i like your name too...wish i *felt* that way...i remember reading you're a runner. So was I before I got myself into this mess...see what happens when you stop running!!!
Trauma Queen does me double duty...kind of an irony... I'm a trauma nurse and i love it... plus i've got all this DRAMA in my life...unwanted, unnecessary...
>Your experience getting there interests me and your concern about others thoughts on your "condition". I could have been where you were and probably would have had I waited a week or so to get treatment. As it is, only three people know I'm being treated - my doc, my boss (who is a friend), and my significant other (thought he should know in case I was in a car wreck or something). Anyway, here's a question to all -- how much do you share with family, friends, the world?
>
> SpeedyAt first, I wanted NO ONE to know, except for the few that my boyfriend called. But one of my close friends, who is like a brother to me and has had a lot of experience with things of this nature...he unwittingly told a couple close friends, so of course I'm worried word will get out amongst the nurses I know, and then eventually every hospital I happen to work at... they eat that stuff up!!! I worry for my job and my license, but I was Baker Acted, which is something they do in Florida when you attempt suicide or are unfit mentally...you basically have no rights...but it protects you because all information is kept confidential and therefore cannot be used against you. ...or so I was told...
So far, the few that know that are very close to me have been supportive, yet they kinda "slapped me on the hand" so to speak...saying..."don't ever do that again..." Like I had much of a say over my actions at that moment. No one, except my close friend mentioned above, knows what it's like to be THAT desperate, to honestly feel the world SHOULD go on w/out you, would be better for all concerned if you were not there to make such problems for everyone. Not even the girl I thought was my best friend would help me. After all was said and done, though, i knew who I could count on. AND, I knew what I did was VERY stupid, and I'm very thankful to God that it turned out the way it did.
And now, I'm thankful to this drug, for giving me a little sanity...but i've found that i'm not too much better...last night I cried like I did 2 wks ago...before I took MANY pills... it had to do with my boyfriend... He is so *incredible* in the way he can make me feel cared about one minute and then totally, amazingly, horrible the next. I have depended on his support thru this, but he still remains very self-centered (namely threatening to get a new girlfriend b/c he's not "getting any"). This coming from a 40 yr old with two small children...now I know why he's divorced... I can't believe his utter ignorance...I need to get away from him.
I've gone on too long...ranting, raving, venting! I appreciate your thoughtful replies...thank you so much...
Tari Anne
poster:trauma queen
thread:109458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030807/msgs/249019.html