Posted by Peter on August 6, 2003, at 6:30:13
In reply to Re: advice, please-pdoc trouble, posted by lesliekay on August 6, 2003, at 3:27:48
Thank you all for your feedback. It's really helped me a lot. And I really admire your patience for reading through that 'essay' I wrote! Thank you.
I don't mean to be bashing my pdoc. I'm more frustrated at the situation and the feeling of having no idea if I'm even treatable, what my diagnosis is, and how sick I am.
I can say that my mood lability and anxieties have hugely interfered with my daily functioning for years, resulting in lost jobs, relationships, etc. It just sucks to go through so many meds, but to always feel that you're in a 'transition period'and you still have not reached a state of equilibrium.
So I finally decided to email my pdoc and just outright say: 'I'd really appreciate if you write me a sentence or 2 describing your reasoning for my not resuming the adderall."
And he was very nice about it. Finally something makes sense! He said that I am still in an 'acute' state, meaning not in a state of equilibrium, and that ADD'ers are, while symptomatic, are still in a state of equilibrium, albeit a relatively dysfunctional one. He said that my 'mood lability, desperation, and intensity' are not ADHD, but more like a mixed mood state with anxiety (perhaps superimposed on some ADHD symptomatology). So, he said, until I reach more of a state of this 'equilibrium,' we should banish the idea of resuming a stimulant.
It makes sense. He's the doctor, not me. But, again, this is the continuation of the lifelong 'transitional phase.'. It's this phase that makes me feel like I haven't reached an 'even' state, or one in which I can function socially, occupationaly, etc. It thereby hinders me in a lot of ways and I let it destroy my confindence. I just got to be more patient and accepting of myself.
Anyway, at least I got a rational reason for not resuming the adderall and a sense that I will, at some time, reach this state of 'equilibrium.' We'll see. Thanks again for all your help, guys,
Peter
poster:Peter
thread:248228
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030802/msgs/248520.html