Posted by Drongo on July 28, 2003, at 4:06:55
In reply to Reply to: FP, JohnL and Too many drugs!, posted by Diane on April 6, 2000, at 15:58:44
> Posted by Too many drugs!
> >All this self-medicating sounds crazy to me. You need to find out what your problem is
> >and THEN choose a drug that has been successful for that condition. You sound like
> >you just want to try everything.
>
> Until I find something that works or I give up, Yes.
>
> Posted by JohnL
> >So if you insist on continuing with self-medication, concentrate your efforts on the
> >meds you can get easily. Without a prescription, forget the rest. They're out of reach
> >without your doctor's endorsement.
>
> Thank you JohnL
>
> Posted by FP
> >My experience with the company you mention is that my order was seized by US
> customs!
> SAME HERE. buprenorphine
>
> >You mention a number of drugs that interact with opoid receptors - am I in the
> >ballpark?
>
> YES YOU ARE
>
> >What is the underlying problem you are trying to treat - maybe some of us have been
> >there.
>
> I first posted my symptoms on this board October 19, 1999, at 15:28:26.
> Here it is again FP: .....
>
> "If you can put aside your initial reaction, and keep your mind open, I'd like some
> input/help on a problem that frustrates me.
> Question: Can some body please tell me why methadone(wait!,don't tune me out
> yet!) WAKES me up, alleviates my depression (like having a type A mind in a type B body),
> where as stimulants make me tired, depressed, irritable, unfocused, zombie/zoned out and
> hinders my breathing.
>
> A little back ground:
> I have been "depressed" sense age 11, or at least that's when suddenly:
> Had no interest in school, friends, play etc. Emotions started to flatline.
> Could not concentrate, retain or focus.
> I became a lonely loner, etc. etc. on down the line.
> I have always felt doubt, fear, insecure, worthless, hopeless, incapable, gutless
> unmotivated. Always lacked drive, ambition, assertiveness.
> Lacked what ever IT is to succeed and be normal. Lots of guilt. Lots of shame.
> I have always felt undeserving, ashamed of myself. Inferior to all others. Helpless.
>
> NO MANIA HERE. Except for recently acquired anger. Strictly
> unipolar.Chronic
>
> I have always been this way, UNTIL METHADONE! Then boom! I was
> ALIVE.
> I had ambition! I had the "I can do it attitude"
> For the first time in my life I wasn't depressed and all the above.
> For the first time in my life I got a job. A career. I became a union floor covering
> installer. Local 1235 outta San Francisco. One of 2 women in the trade! I was
> finally rolling at age 31!
> And nobody ever knew I was on Methadone.
> Methadone is a slow release, long acting (26hr) drug. There is no "rush", as with
> heroin. In my experience it's a simple, uncomplicated, risk free drug.
> So it's addictive, so what? I'd rather be addicted and enabled than depressed and
>
> disabled. I mean we are never really talking "Cure" when it comes to depression
> but a
> easing of symptoms, right?
>
> Then unfortunately I had to give up methadone. I now live a 100 mile drive
> from the nearest clinic. I live in Sweet Home, OR. and I am stuck here. I don't
> have a car (my 57 belair wagon was stolen a month after my husbands death)and
> there are no busses. *I do have a computer tho and I do have a GP. But as soon as
> I told my GP about my experience with Methadone he tuned me out. Doctors look
> on former heroin addicts/ methadone clients as untrustworthy animals. Like we're
> gonna destroy them and their practice as soon as their backs are turned.
> Doctors, nurses and counselors at Methadone Clinics are some of the ugliest most
> arrogant people I've ever known. They look down at you and treat you like stinking
> dog shit. They get off on punishment. I had a counselor who was pissed off because I
> was doing so well. "What am I going to do with you Diane? I have to do something
> with you" So she punished me by making me go to NA meetings 3 night a week. The
> closest one was over the hill 20 miles away at 8pm.
>
> SO I am searching for alternatives. Alternatives similar to methadone or
> alternative ways to *acquire methadone outside of the clinic setting*.
> (fat chance, I know but I figured I might as well ask sense I'm going this far out
> on a limb, risking being ostracized :o)). And I am not talking Heroin abuse here. I've
> been
> clean sense 1985. Been off methadone sense 1992(not by choice). (christ, I don't
> even consume sugar, caffeine, salt, tap water etc. I eat fresh vegetables and alittle chix
> and fish. I take Nutra Mega super potency supplements with antioxidants blahblah
> blah! I eat lots of Flaxseed for it's Omega-3 and fiber. Oatbran...I AM CLEAN,
> CLEAN, CLEAN) But does that make any points with my GP? NOoooooo.
>
> Methadone is the only thing that has worked(so far) for my depression. Just my luck,
> the one thing that works bang on...I can't get simply thru normal channels.
>
> So I am back to "all the above" depression.
>
> Diane "
> ------------- end Oct 16 post
>
> My personal assessment of myself:
> Chronic Unipolar/Major depression, Social Phobia, ADD, no hyperactivity
>
> No drive or motivation. I'm out of my room maybe 3 hours out of 24. I wear silicone
> earplugs 24 hours a day to block out the real world so I won't die of depression
> knowing I will never be apart of that world. Been suicidal (in thought only) many times.
>
> I've only been to one pdoc and that was back in 1981. I was at the end of my
> rope and he was the closest one around. He put me on Mellaril, then
> something else I don't remember, then Xanax. The Mellaril and Xanax made me
> dopy and Zombie like.
>
> My experience with certain drugs:
> *Zoloft™ gave me headaches at 100mg. Nothing at 50mg.
> *Prozac™ made me violent (20mg). Scared the hell outta me! 10mg excruciating
> headache
> *Xanax made me dopey, useless. Hospitalized with withdrawal seizures. Word-finding
> difficulties ever after.
> *Mellaril, Zombie.
> *Klonopin made me dopey, useless.
> *Vallium, nothing.
> *Tryptophan,the amino acid, gives me nightmares.(tryptophan increases
> serotonin synthesis)
> *Alcohol, one drink and I've got a headache.
> *Pot made me depressed and self-conscious in the extreme! Can't breathe.
> *Cocaine is too euphoric. The crash is unbelievably depressing. Can't breathe.
> *Speed usually brings out the hate, anger & depression. It also makes me tired, easily
> winded. And what might take me 1hr to do normally will take me 24 on speed.
> *Demerol®, nothing.
> *Codeine, no big deal. Killer on the stomach
> *Vicodin, feels simular to methadone/heroin for a very little while. Kills the stomach
> *Morphine is too dopey. A little too much and you're out like a light. Risky
> *Heroin is much better but it's an occupation. The returns are no longer worth the
> effort.
> **Methadone is perfect. Long acting. It stabilizes. There is no head in chest rush or
> crash. It's a constant even flow. The only drug that has worked.
> !Methadone stimulates my body and my mind! "Type A mind in a type B body"
> Darkness turns to light.
> I'm not going to elaborate because I'd fill up many pages easily.
>
> Diane
>
>
>
My opinion is you are never going to get all that delivered, as your get banned rx delivered, if it makes it past the govt (which is hit or miss) still maybe 35% will actually make it to your door. Try two at a time, order wise.
As for Opiates as relief for depression, this is a well known and excellent method of relieving depression, goes way back. See the web site http://www.biopsychiatry.com/opivar.htm they have extensive info on this. the US Govt has made in nearly impossible for dr.s to rx powerful enough Opiates for depression, catagorizing them in classes which require extensive and expensive rx slips (triplicates the dr has to pay more and get more shit for being able to use them) and copies go to the Feds of each one, they database it, and hence, with medicine 'progressing' and dr's being more and more reluctant to rx a strong opiate, its become almost impossible to use that source for depression. But I get 90 Methadone a month and it works great 2x it helps my back pain and makes me feel less depressed. I suggest you stick with the methadone, just get a doc that will rx it for you - I see mine 1x a year and get 4 months of rx 3x a year by stopping in the office - pre-dated so I cant turn them all in and so on.
If you can BELIEVE this, I recently became VERY depressed, and its well known that a SSRI can be augmented with a dopaminergitic, like, Ritalin.
Did I get the SSRI, in 2 mins of talking to a doc (not my usual, just made an appt came in 2 days later, heres your SSRI, sir. Did I get 2 weeks worth of Ritalin (COMMONLY rxd to kids) NO WAY! He refused to augment, even when I told him its also medically approved to start with the dopamine aggressor for 2-4 weeks as it makes you feel better 30 mins after taking it, while you have to suffer with depression for up to 6 weeks before the SSRI kicks in. He didnt care, no way could I get any of the drugs in the same class as Ritalin. I am pissed.
Minaprine was legal and working great till 1999 when it was yanked for the minor rare possible side effect of renal failure I think (and it was also something that made people actually FEEL GOOD and the govt seems to hate that idea) despite its incredible sucess rate. Cant get Adrafinil in the US either now, I understand.Why sucessful dopamine antaganizors are banned and lithium still procsribed for minor depression my some drs I cannot understand. Im ready to FLY to India to get Modafinil...
Drongo, pissed about the state of depression treatment, horrified by the idea of it 50 years ago...
poster:Drongo
thread:28647
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030728/msgs/246078.html