Posted by shocker147 on July 25, 2003, at 23:08:48
Hi everyone-
I am reaching out to everyone out there who know their OCD is severe and crippling. I would really like to hear back from you if you live with this and have advice to give. Especially if you're older than me (23) and have been battling with this particular mental illness your whole life. My OCD became so excruciatingly debilitating starting at approximately 19 years of age I started locking myself in the bathroom and turning on the shower just to hear the sound of the water to calm myself for hours at a time. I got academically dismissed from school, overdrew my checking account $1000, had thousands of dollars in credit card debt, collection agencies after me, got in trouble with the law for fighting. I'm sure many of you reading this have been to this point and know that its impossible to describe in words how horrible you felt. I'm curious if anyone else besides me was so ill they didn't know they were ill? Finally God flipped a lightswitch in my head that said I needed to go to a psychiatrist. Never crossed my mind once until that day. Finally got to the doc in January of 2002. So ill the effort to open my mouth to utter a mere word took everything in me.
He immediately started me on Effexor XR, two days at 37.5 I woke up in the morning and didn't have a panic attack. It was an experience I hadn't enjoyed in years. Eventually went up to 375 mg of Effexor XR and back down to maximum benefit at 300mg. Doctor added Celexa to my regimine at that point and talk about a nightmarish hell, I turned into Mr. Hyde. Discontinued that and started taking Lithium (made me a complete zombie) discontinued that. Took Synthroid to no avail. Finally started on Paxil CR. I don't know if any of you take Paxil CR but of all the medicine I take it definately has the most power. Maximum dosage is 50 mg, at one point I took 100 mg one day and thought I was going to fall into a coma. I have been at 75 mg ever since. I felt no relief from the obsessions with effexor. The first came with paxil. I typed in www.ocd.com and it took me to the Luvox homepage (it doesn't anymore). I took a small dose of Luvox one afternoon and by 6 pm while at work I knew something was horribly wrong. I had to go to the hospital (first and only time) that night. Doc then tried me on 0.25 mg of Risperdal which completely changed my personality. Zyprexa after that (I put on 20 lbs in about 2 weeks). Finally he prescribed anafranil (clomipramine). I started at 25 mg and now I'm at 75 mg. The obsessions have almost completely died away. Today the doc added 10 mg of desipramine for mild depression which remains. I enjoy not having the obsessions anymore but I think it dulls me somewhat mentally. Has anyone else experienced this. Tonight I took the desipramine for the first time. Any feedback on that would be appreciated. I take 15 mg of Remeron at night and 4 mg of estazolam (excellent benzodiazapine). Has anyone experienced appetite increase with the remeron? Has anyone felt that seeing a psychologist has helped them overcome that 'scars', mostly the barriers your mind has built, from the OCD? My current medications are as follows:
Effexor XR 300 mg
Paxil CR 75 mg
Anafranil (Clomipramine) 75 mg
Desipramine 10 mg
Prosom (Estazolam) 4 mg
Remeron 15 mg.I hate being 23 and taking all of these medications, but everyone has their cross to carry. Please reply with feedback about what OCD (especially severe obsessing) has done to you and how you've confronted it medicinally and psychologically. I appreciate it.
Your friend in Wichita, shocker147
poster:shocker147
thread:245375
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030723/msgs/245375.html