Posted by jerrympls on May 27, 2003, at 23:16:15
In reply to how supportful are your friends with depression?, posted by fanni on May 27, 2003, at 17:10:44
> just wanted to ask people that.this seems the only place i can talk about it and not be screamed at,and im sick of it,it really got to me today,im so down,no confidence,blahblahblah,and its not like i was going on about it,but my friends were just like oh shut the fk up your so selfish,im bored of you.i would love someone to turn to,i feel so isolated and all that stuff. sorry to whinge.it does get better,doesnt it?!anti depressants will work,after a while?
FANNI-
I can empathize with you completely. While I do have some wonderful friends who are there for me when I need them even if it's just to listen to me and all my troubles - I do have some friends who just do not understand and they take it personally. When my depression gets worse, I tend to isolate myself - not answer the phone, etc. I've tried to explain it to them and am constantly reassuring them that it has nothing to do with them - however, even though they do try to understand - they cannot. They just don't understand why, when Friday comes, that I'd rather sleep all weekend than want to go out to all the clubs and dance the night away and spend countless hours at the mall, etc.
They've stopped calling - and I don't blame them completely - and emails have been few and far between. I want desparately to explain time after time that it's not them and it's because of the illness - robbing me of energy, filling me with apathy, etc. The last time I head from them they were hinting that they had been having "fun" with "new" friends, etc. I'm sure it wasn't meant as mean spiritied, but as more of a "we can have fun without begging you to do things with us...."
One of the things that saves me is one of my very best friends also suffers from depression. Also, another very close, wonderful friend who lives in another state has always been there - even though he doesn't full understand all my treatments, etc and will read and respond to my long emails complaining about my life.....
I would recommend what others have posted - find a support group through your therapist or doctor and build some friendships from there. I also have heard there are many good books for friends delaing with a friend's depression, etc. - sorry I have no titles to share at the moment.
If your current friends are telling you to shut up - then perhaps it's time to look elsewhere - like a support group. The internet has been a great friend for me - being able to post on discussion boards like this one help tremndously.
I wish I could help you more...and I wish you the best and hope you find a friend(s) who will be there for you - no matter how much you complain or cry or whatever....
good luck -- hang in there..
Jerry
poster:jerrympls
thread:229517
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030525/msgs/229618.html