Posted by jtc on April 4, 2003, at 22:27:55
In reply to Re: Effexor Withdrawal Highly Overrated luckyspec » luckyspec, posted by Napaba on April 4, 2003, at 9:22:14
Hi Napaba,
I am so sorry for you when I read your story and am sorry you had to go through that. You do not need a reason to be depressed. That is what my psychiatrist has always told me, I have seen him off and on for about 6 years. It is okay to feel depressed, and besides with your history I can certainly see why you have depression. I too have depression and anxiety and panic disorder. I have been of Effexor XR 75 mg for one week now. I am feeling okay but very irritable and tired, tearful, angry and I have two girls ages 8 and 3 soon to be 9 and 4 years old. I don't know if it was the right time for me to go off Effexor. I still take Klonopin, .25 mg at night. I am making an appointment with my psychiatrist to talk about all of these problems and see what he thinks I should do. Every couple of years I will go off medication and do okay until I can't take anymore and then I go on something again. I really hate myself for yelling at my girls and just being a "bit**" to them. They do not deserve this at all. My girls see me cry every day and they are scared and sad because I am sad and crying. Sometimes I get so upset that I think about driving my car into a tree with my girls in it but then I think God tells me "What would that solve?" I am angry at my husband because he does not help me very much and he does not make me feel about good about myself anymore. We have been married for about 17 years. He says he is not going to "baby" me anymore. I am sorry but I didn't know that emotionally supporting me was the same as babying me. I think my problems are really with him and I sometimes take out my frustrations towards him on my kids. I just don't know how I am going to do off of medication because I really don't have his support in anything. My parents were divorced when I was almost four years old and I guess I am determined to make my marriage work for my children's sake because I don't want them to grow up with no father, like I did. I also still blame my father for not caring enough to be there when I was growing up but I am trying to get over that and on with life. It is hard though. I think I will always have depression to some extent. People say that we can overcome our past and make our future better, well I haven't been able to put the past behind me yet and I am 38 years old now. Anyway enough rambling on my part. Thanks for listening. I am thankful for this board and all of the support and advice I receive from it. Thanks so much and may God Bless everyone. jtc
Luckyspec, If you don't personnally suffer from depression and anxiety, why don't you just monitor the site and see what those who do suffer from depression and anxiety have to say.
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> I've had a problem with depression as long as I can remember. Your childhood sounds good to me. If all I had to do was fight with my sister, be belittled and listen to my parents fight I probably wouldn't be on medication either. Your list is just the beginning of mine. I was raped, got pregnant, had a baby, put it up for adoption, but wasn't ever allowed to talk about any of it. This all happened 23 years ago and I still regret not keeping the baby, who just turned 23 March 23rd. I know where he is and I send him birthday cards, but I never hear from him.
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> When I first went to the doctor, I told him I just felt horrible there had to be something wrong with me. I cried all the time, was always tired, slept whenever I could, yelled at my children, was anxious about everything and depressed no matter what. I had thought about suicide, but decided I didn't want my EX raising my children. The final straw was when I thought about driving off a bridge with my kids.
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> After I started taking meds, my mother tried to make me feel that I was stupid for taking them, and had no reason to be depressed. My church told me I wasn't praying enough. Thank God my doctor was a christian and helped me to see things differently. The way I look at it, is God sent me to a doctor to get the medical help I needed.
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> I have no reason to be depressed. I have a great husband, three wonderful children, a job I love, a beautiful home in a peacefull community. I still cry and feel sorrow, but I don't cry because the grass needs to be cut, I'm late for church, etc. I still cry when I hear a sad song on the radio, or I hear about the soldiers who have given their lives in Iraq. When it's Christmas and birthdays I feel joy and I can laugh, where before I couldn't.
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> Every couple of years I decide I don't need to be on medication anymore and stop taking it. I can usually go a year without it and then I have to go back on it.
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> My family is most important to me. If my taking a pill each day makes their lives better then it's worth it.
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> I hope my story helps you better understand depression, it's not a choice.
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> I obviously do miss the point.
> > I am only trying to learn about depression more deeply. This is why I am going to do research on history of depression to find out where the root of depression started.
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> > I have heard that depression is caused by the inability to deal with one's own problems. Perhaps this is true. If it is not so I know even less about depression.
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> > I leave you all to your state, and I trully can not help you. You are outside my circle of influence. I am only trying to help someone close to me with their depression. I am really very sorry if I have caused you any pain at all and will not try to influence you.
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> > I also know depression is not about happiness or sadness. The Tao is simply an example. Perhaps you can read some taoism. It really helped me once. As to my family..they are the ones that caused me to be more depressed. I was always yelled at by my mother, and my father didn't really care to help me with anything when I was younger. My parents constantly fought and I fought with my sister. I did have a great family right DeeDee? Am I lucky...?
> > Things have changed since then. My parents divorced and I live with a roommate and out of my mothers house. She is depressed also, but misses yelling at me. Yet I love her and I want to help her. She does not take drugs, but she is different then you perhaps she doesn't have as many problems as you.
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> > I am also trying to help a friend of mine who is on Effexor. That is why I am here. Not to influence you. It was my mistake to even try. I simply want to deeply understand depression. But I believe that it will be impossible unless I am depressed as you. I can't make myself depressed. That is what I heard.
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> > Also the chemical imbalance is caused by having soo many problems that one can not deal with. I am dealing with mine, and can not begin to stop dealing with them, so I more likely will not be depressed ever as I want to be. I do get sad at times. It is normal. But I will never understand your depression as you do. I only wish to help those I care about, without them having to hurt their mind, body, and spirit.
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> > Really, I am sorry you have to go through life carrying such a burden. I can not help you. I have learned that much, that I can only help those who allow me to help. I allow myself to help myself.
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> > I am sick also, I do not know what it is, but I have something in my throat that has been there for 3 years or so. I guess it is psychosomatic. So I am dealing with it. But I will not take a drug that will make me lose my sex function or make me tired or hurt my bones. That is just speaking for myself. I am not just talking about Effexor. I do not need it. I could take something like Advil to stop some of the feeling in my throat. But I will find a way. I know that our emotions are stored in muscles and I know that there is some problem that I have not brought to the surface. I will.
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> > But I am not going to tell you what to do. Please do not listen to me. Only discover the true problems of your life, and begin to deal with one at a time. Until that happens you do need the drugs...unfortunately. I just wonder how people treated depression when there was no drug industry...That is a great question.
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poster:jtc
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030402/msgs/216352.html