Posted by Theona on February 8, 2003, at 12:01:16
In reply to Re: New lex user-Theona --Anyone!!!!, posted by Chuck2112 on February 6, 2003, at 9:51:14
> I want to say that I dont ever have panic attacks...and do fairly well considering how I feel, I usually joke and have fun at work and go out on weekends, go to parties meet and talk to new people....but I just have trouble being totally at ease while doing it....so when it gets to one on one conversation is when I sometimes choke up or zone out.....i just dont relax....i have actually managed to meet and start seeing a girl in the past 2 months....luckily we can not see each other on a daily basis which gives me time to work through some of this....
>
> any thoughts?????Hi Chuck,
Apologies for appearing not to write. I am not at my computer every day, but also, the two notes I wrote you didn't "take." I sensed something wrong and did save the response I'd written here:
Hi Chuck,
I guess I'm wondering how you were before the divorce. You probably mentioned this in a former note. Sorry if I missed it. Not only is divorce a shock to the system, even a supposedly friendly one, but if you were in a marriage that didn't work, a lot of harm happened along the way that effects confidence. You must know that. And we all develop coping styles to survive an unhappy marriage. Those don't just go away after the divorce. I guess what I'm hearing you say is that you have some healing to do, and perhaps an objective person in the form of a counselor can help you with the uncomfortable corners you might not be noticing.
My son has Aspergers, a type of autism. By adulthood, people with this are almost normal, with a few difficulties in the world of socializing. But we were lucky and got him diagnosed very young, first grade. So he was in a special school for about 3 years before being mainstreamed into public school. At the private school, they explained to me that he would make his way without therapy, but that he would compensate around his problems and that therapy would help him find a more direct route.
I have never forgotten that, and think about it for myself, that I have done a lot that I am proud of, working with my depression and axiety by myself, but I have been doing a lot of compensating without the SSRI, now Lexapro, or therapy. Now I want a more direct route to normal everyday life than the one I was taking with all the compensation measures I was using. I just want to go out and garden or down to do my laundry without having to jump over a 12-foot wall.
I see you noticing behaviors in yourself that you see are different and getting in your way. My definition of needing to seek help, whether medicinal or therapeutic, is when your problems interfere with your everyday functioning, it's time for what I jokingly call a tune-up.
Like you, I've been going about my daily life, being with friends, have a new boyfriend in my life, appear cheerful at work. I was always pretending, so I could be like everyone else. When I told my boss I was being treated for major depression, she was astonished, because I am cheerful at work. I was also spending weekends in bed, not wanting to do anything.
I feel it's important to not wait until you have a crisis to think you need help. I always think about what a problem it can be to be a person straddled between a serious problem and being okay. You think you can handle it yourself, when really, you need some help. Many of us fall between the cracks like that, including myself, and take forever to get the right help.
I think you are on the right track. Work with your doctor 2 or 3 months and get the Lexapro basically up to speed and then get in to see a counselor. They are objective about you, see things you want to avoid, and are a good sounding wall. They don't fix you, you do, with some guidance on that more direct route in life that you want.
I like your desire to feel better. It's a good part of you.
Theona
poster:Theona
thread:109458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030208/msgs/140150.html