Posted by eris-24 on January 28, 2003, at 13:17:09
I've made some bad decisions and I need some advice.
I've had a sort of "blah" depression for 8 years. I tried seeing doctors and therapists but it wasn't very helpful. They put me on a few different medications, but because of a lot of HMO crap, I didn't stay on any of them or work out which one was right for me. One of those medications was Zoloft; I took it for two weeks once before the HMO screwed me over, but I don't remember anything about it. That was over a year ago; I've still been depressed the whole time.
For the last three months I've been unemployed and addicted to GHB. The G helped tremendously with my depression for the first two weeks, but after that it lost its effect and I just kept taking it to keep the withdrawal at bay (every 1-2 hours). I am almost out now; the last dose will be around 5pm EST. At that point, my dopamine will stop being supressed and will rebound above normal levels for about three days before it settles down.
Part of the withdrawal is sadness and a sense of hopelessness for the first few days. A deeper depression will manifest in about 30 days (because I have suffered from depression before). With this sudden combination of melancholic and non-melancholic depression, I think there would be a risk of suicide.
Now, this isn't a cry for help. I'm sure I can get through this. But to make it easier, I'm planning on taking Zoloft again.
Since I am unemployed, I can't afford to go to the doctor for about another month and a half. On Friday I will start a job I applied for just for that purpose. In the meantime, I'm going to have to self-medicate with Zoloft.
Yes, I know, you don't like people self-medicating, and you're not doctors so you aren't qualified to help me and all. But I don't know what else to do but try this myself until I can see a real doctor. I don't care about side effects, I just want to get through this alive. I know he'll be able to help me regulate my meds after I see him.
I promise I will go to the doctor as soon as I can. I just need some advice, as you guys know what you're talking about, you've been there.
If you've taken Zoloft before, what has been a helpful dosage for you? How should I build up the dosage?
You should know, even if you don't offer any advice, I'm going to end up medicating myself anyway.
Thanks.
eris
poster:eris-24
thread:137962
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030125/msgs/137962.html