Posted by River1924 on January 25, 2003, at 14:16:46
In reply to Re: my typical atypical spouse, posted by Theresa Rae on January 25, 2003, at 12:19:52
I agree with proud mary. I'm rather amused by your husband. I suspected he would make a U-turn or go in any direction other than what you expected. (I.E. He gets better AND doesn't change.)
You just keep seeing your therapist. Right now, that is really important. You say he notified you of his travel plans. That's nice but big deal. That is just common courtesy. Your expectations are too small ...his inconsistent behavior and (yes)neglect can easily turn into feelings worthlessness for both of you. It does neither of you any good. Although it may feel hopeless (I've been in relationships, I know how it is), it won't always be.
With men, you must not "ask" your requests. "Will you call tomorrow?" You must state them. Women ask out of politeness but assume the person will do it. Men take questions like this very casually. You must say...assert "I want you to call the psychiatrist's office at nine a.m." Then get a specific answer.
Does your husband have a job that might (at least in his mind) be affected by others knowing he sees a psychiatrist?
Would your husband work better with a male or female psychiatrist? Most men can be more open emotionally with a woman (I'd guess.)
Sorry to write so much. I'm just thinking of you and your situation. Good Luck, River.
poster:River1924
thread:136888
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030125/msgs/137502.html