Posted by Geezer on January 12, 2003, at 11:25:35
In reply to Re: Here! Here!! » EGR, posted by Kairos on January 11, 2003, at 22:37:26
> EGR -
>
> Thanks - just for simply saying you care. It's been a helluva haul - for both of us.
>
> *sigh* I'm just not sure what I'm really asking here - I mean I wll share your statement from the post and see what he says i guess - How can someone help him - I mean - perhaps to not feel alone - and whre to go from here - or just someone else that has gone thru it and now wants to live? I any case - whatever occurs to you - thanks. It means the world to me - he's my best friend - and the air I breathe.
>
> Beyond being my mate - no individual should have to be so depressed as to take their lives by their own hand.
>
> Kairos
>
> > Kairos, I would be happy to somehow correspond with your husband. I guess I'm just not sure what part of my story would be helpful to him. I guess I could start out by saying that in the beginning, I didn't start out wanting to kill myself, I was just miserable and would have negative thoughts. Then one day, as I was driving, a thought popped in... "I could just drive into this oncoming traffic"... and then it escalated after that... which corner would be the best in order to make it look like an accident... how I could drive off a bridge and make it look like an accident. Etc., etc. Let me know what you think would be helpful for him to read.
> >
> > I really DO care...
> >
> > EGR
>
>Hi Kairos,
This will be my third attempt to send this post (had to delete the first two - so hard to find the right words). You are a most caring wife and the most valuable helper your husband could have. Please don't take my comments as a lecture or professional advice, I am just another person who offers an opinion.
I am probably Bipolar (the DX changes with a change in pdocs) and I am currently surviving on 600mg. Trileptal and 1mg. Klonopin, will start an AD next week. I have taken nearly all the ADs, MAOIs, SSRIs, Pstims, and Benzos over 30 years of treatment. I have been hospitalized 12 times, completed 11 ECT treatments about a month ago, and I had two "close calls" in the mid 80s.
I was called for draft physical in 1964 but deferred due to hearing defect (didn't know I had depression then, missed Viet Nam).
My father is a former POW from WW II. Shot down over occupied France, arrested by the Gestapo, spent a year "in the bag" Stalag Luft III, Germany....I grew up with his PTSD.
Close friends - James (did 2 tours in Nam 101st Airborn), Dan (Marine wounded in Nam battle of Way City), Rene (retired OSS Maj. - Army version of the CIA...part of first team "dropped" into Nam).
I have seen enough death and dying to last two life times but this came from the medical business I worked in not the horrible trama your husband suffered. Please don't try to get inside his feelings or push him to post on this board if it causes "fright". Recovery from the horrors of war take a long time (my father wouldn't talk about it for years). If someone is going to "open Pandora's Box" they had better be prepared to deal with what is inside. IMHO your husband needs the best pdoc, the best therapist, and you. This is a very good support place....let him come here when he is ready. If HE WANTS my direct e-mail address I will be glad to give it but I am no more qualified to give advice than any other non-professional.
Most important......thank your husband for his service to our country!!
Wish you both the very best,
Geezer
poster:Geezer
thread:109458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030106/msgs/135512.html