Posted by backofclass on January 5, 2003, at 19:00:56
I don't know if any people are going through the same problems as me but here is my story. I will try to keep this as simple as possible. I have had ADHD my entire life, no doubt about it, as clear as it comes. I blame it on complications at birth and a family history. As a young-adult, I get very agitated, anxious and have "all" the mental problems you would associate with ADHD. Regardless, I am very smart, have been labeled the smartest of my two older brothers, who are straight A students, but I could not get an A in school even if it were my life's mission, with exception to me being interested in the subject. On top of this I have developed a severe form of social phobia. I have been told I have a nice personality but throw anxiety in the mix, I tend to come across as arrogant, timid and seem vulnerable. I will always “second guess” anything I say. This is because ADHD makes my mind go haywire and the anxiety exacerbates this by making me self conscious. It makes no since to me either? This makes me come across as very serious. Put it simply, anxiety prevents me from being who I naturally am, even with the ADHD. This was mainly caused by a teacher who, because of my ADHD, made me sit up to the front of the class facing all the other students all year long. This teacher actually “liked” me and felt that this would make me be a better student but it initiated a lifetime of problems. The social phobia had become so bad that I dropped out of school and now social phobia effects every part of my life, even outside of school. It is so debilitating that I will feel the anxiety just by thinking about the anxiety. This may be a form of post traumatic stress disorder? I have gone into a severe state of depression and hopelessness but always seem to rebound by doing something that is stimulating, but this never has anything to do with friends! It is a miracle that I have made it to college, long story but just as depressing, but class is a living hell. In class I am paralyzed over the thought of people scrutinizing my every move. I literally can't move, unlike many with anxiety who shake. I do sweat profusely. Also, I can't concentrated because of both my anxiety and ADHD combined.
I have shunned medication my whole life, thinking that they would do no good, but I have recently reached a breaking point. I had a psychiatrist who wanted to put me on Risparal, which I never took. Another put me on Paxil and Ritalin, which I tried but experience a huge panic attack and quite cold turkey. Recently I got a hold of 1mg of Ativan and that helped with my social anxiety a lot. I know that Klonopin is suppose to work better! By the way, I will again be seeing a psychologist about this hopefully next week, but my concern is that that the psychiatrist may not understand my problem and have a good solution. I hear that it is impossible to have social phobia and ADHD comorbid because they counteract each other. That may be true in that even though I have lived an "isolated" life for about 10 years I have still find pleasure in living. That may be why I have avoided help for so long. What I have learned is that ADHD responds to “uppers” like Dexadrine and Ritalin while anxiety responds to “downers” like Klonopin. Would this not cancel out each other out? It would be nice to know that I just need a stimulant and a Benzo to solve the problem, but I hate to push these medications without knowing if they are effective when combined. Does anyone have a better solution when treating social phobia and ADHD?
poster:backofclass
thread:134655
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021230/msgs/134655.html