Posted by Phil on January 4, 2003, at 19:06:10
In reply to Re: No apologies » Phil, posted by harry b. on January 4, 2003, at 16:25:49
> My 2 cents. In the late 60's & all of the 70's I smoked tons of pot. I was stoned most of the time.
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> I stopped using it in the 80's. Had no problem giving it up.
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> Now I find that just a hit or 2 before bedtime is beneficial. I don't 'party', if someone offers me pot I decline. I also do not hang out with a drug crowd, so access to it is rare. When I was in Florida last winter I was able to get some very good, plain old Mexican at prices 1/4 of what it sells for up here. I chanced bringing quite a bit back up north & since I use so little of it, I have a good personal supply.I increased smoking since I've been on SSRI's and Ritalin and now Adderall. I usually can take it or leave it but I'd prefer to take it.
Smoking used to make me comatose almost but it, I really believe-no denial, does wonders now. I can think creatively and be awake and it's a good feeling. One of my theories is that when I was younger and doing lots of drugs, I was also depressed. I didn't know that's what it was at the time but looking back, it's obvious since 10 y.o. or younger I was in my head.
I was also filled with shame and guilt due to one baddass case of codependency with my mom. I think codependency can kill you as quick as anything-it's a miserable way to live.
Anyway, I was having some fun but I always felt this guilt from hell. I could never totally cut loose unless I was very drunk so I got very drunk enough to scare me into stopping.
I constantly berate myself to the extreme but for what I've been through, I'm proud that I haven't gone totally crazy.
Thanks for listening. I'm on my way to the drug store for Tums. I was fine earlier today, then suddenly I feel I just stepped off of a roller coaster.I hear what you're saying and know where you're coming from in regards to the sex thing, pot does help. I have noticed on Lexapro that there is no way in hell to have an orgasm. I've got to talk to my doc-I take Viagra and they only can prescibe 8 f'ing pills a month. I don't need more but give me 60..maybe the pharmacist will be intriqued and ask me out. He ain't that bad. I have to do something, I sold my sheep because the neighbors said a sheep wearing a garter belt was not what they wanted to see at breakfast. Especially if there was a session in progress. Baaad jokes.
Maybe I can take Flomax or whatever it is and Gingko Biloba.
I think I valiantly tried for 4 hours one day. Reminded me of being on coke. I gave up, called god a son of a bitch and went to bed right after I kicked the sheetrock so hard my foot went all the way thru to the outdoors.okok
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> I can't & do not want to use it recreationally. I do my 2 tokes at night (enough to mellow me, not stone me), put on some music (usually some soft jazz) & then go to bed.
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> My sex life is mostly a solo affair & I've found that pot helps in that regard too.
>
> hb
poster:Phil
thread:134397
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021230/msgs/134511.html