Posted by Michael73 on December 20, 2002, at 3:27:16
In reply to Re: Brain fog » Michael73, posted by johnj on December 19, 2002, at 21:55:58
johnj and McPac,
I really appreciate the posts. I do do well in school, but I'm very one tracked. I have a constant feeling that I'm forgetting something. That causes me to feel like I "have" to do things in order and completely before starting to the next. It's just like I'm missing something that people who I perceive as clear-minded have and that makes me feel inferior. Maybe something equivalent to a computer's RAM. I'm not very fluent. I have a combersome system of notebooks and ledgers that I feel I have to keep to keep my life together but I suspect most don't waste so much time as I do on the trivial things I do. I just don't have the capacity to easily filter important things from trivial. I study a lot because I always believe that will make life more manageable. I spent days reading, studying, and taking notes on my health, life, car, and car policies to feel comfortable. But I feel I have somewhat impaired recall. Though if I were tested on it I'd probably do fine. But it wouldn't "feel" like I did fine. All this is greatly accentuated by stress and seems associated with the "feeling in my head" i.e., "brain fog".
I can make academic acheivments. But I spend so much time going in circles I think I'd fall behind in graduate school especially working a job on the side. I was offered a job that allowed me to attend school part-time but I'm just afraid this condition will get in the way. It's just not so bad when I'm living without stress. I'm strongly considering turning the offer down and continuing in my "safe" job which I can do without medication and am happy doing and feel challenged by. I am scared of ever losing this job because I feel I can't do anything else even though I know on a rational level that isn't true. But that doesn't make it any less overwhelming. Does anyone experience these debilitating circles? Sincerely,Michael73 P.S. I did try Zoloft for a short while.
poster:Michael73
thread:132539
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021217/msgs/132580.html