Posted by bluedog on December 9, 2002, at 3:38:27
In reply to Anyone here with severe social anxiety employed?, posted by fuzzymind on December 9, 2002, at 2:27:35
> I read that 22 percent of people with social anxiety disorder are on welfare. I am panicking and planning suicide because my parents told me they can no longer support me. I am afraid to die, but living is more fearful. I never had a job and couldn't graduate from college 12 years ago. See my past history I posted in 2 message yesterday. For 5 years, I have known this day would come. Time is up
YES,YES, YES!!!!!!! I have social anxiety and I AM employed. PLEASE, PLEASE don't say that time is up!!!!!! THERE IS HOPE FOR YOU. Not so long ago I was also suicidal and even had a plan for how I was going to kill myself. However having this plan somehow helped me and gave me a sense of relief that that option was always available to me, but I knew deep down in my heart that it was a FINAL option only and made me see that I had not actually tried every other option to help me heal myself.I see from your posts that you have tried many things but there is no way that you could have tried EVERYTHING to help you. From your previous posts I can see that you are very intelligent and academically talented. Because of this very fact I KNOW that you will be able to get a job and hold it down. I also know that because of your intelligence (I know your emotions are not so clear) that you ARE smart enough to know that while there is life that there is hope.
NO matter how miserable I felt, I always knew on a rational and logical level that the above statement is the TRUTH. Please repeat to yourself ten times "WHILE THERE IS LIFE THERE IS HOPE".
I will tell you a little about myself. I am also 33 years of age. I am male. I am a university graduate despite my crippling social anxiety. I had to defer semesters and exams many times because of the severe depression that my social anxiety produced. I have also quit a very good job because I couldn't deal with certain situations that exacerbated my social anxiety and depression!!
I will tell you another thing, High School and University (I think you call university college in the US) are the absolute worse places for social phobics. A large proportion high school and university/college students are some of the most insensitive, arrogant, selfish and pompous people around. BUT they only represent a very small cross section of society. My High School and University days coincided with with the absolute HIGH POINT (or should I say low point) of my social anxiety and depression. I used to hide myself in the quietest corner of the library to avoid dealing with my fears and I used to go home and cry myself to sleep because I would see all the "normal students" out there partying and having a good time. I felt so lonely and depressed and this was the time when my suicidal thoughts were at ther peak and when I hatched my plan as to how I was going to kill myself>
BUT THERE IS HOPE. When you get out in the "real" work world you will find that on the whole people are really nice, supportive and understanding. The superficial, selfish and preening behaviour you find at school and college is no where near as bad in the work world where you get a much broader cross section of society, many with problems and worries of there own (Don't get me wrong, there are still idiots out there but it's much much less and more tolerable).
MY advice to you is to work VERY VERY VERY intensively with your therapists and your doctors to get you through the interview process. THis is absolutely the WORST part of the job for a social phobic (Believe me). Even if you have to swallow dozens of valium tablets (I don't mean overdose- do this in consultation with your doctor) to calm you down for the interviews then do it. There are counselling services available where you can have mock interviews before you go for the real thing!! Once your in a job you will settle into a routine that after a while will become much more comfortable for you.
When I graduated I actually got interviews with every top law firm in town (I am a law graduate). But the recruiting process was a complete nightmare for a social phobic and I failed to get a job offer from any of these firms and I hated all these bastards for that (Sorry Dr Bob but that was the best adjective I could find for these people). AND YES this precipitated another one of my major depressive episodes. However, when I finally came out the other end I had learnt a lot more about myself and was able to reassess my priorities and find a job (with lots of support from the counselling services I mentioned above) that was suited to my temperament. It turns out that I merely wanted to work at the top law firms because of the prestige involved, and not because it was really in my heart what I wanted to do!!!
Sorry about this long post but my advice stands and I would say look at your temperament and then look into your heart as to what you would personally find fulfilling in a job and you will then succeed despite your social anxiety problems. In other words you can't fit a square peg into a round hole!!!!
warm regards
bluedog
poster:bluedog
thread:131074
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021203/msgs/131077.html