Posted by Jefff on October 20, 2002, at 3:29:31
In reply to Re: My Klonopin (Clonazepam) isnt working at all!!!!! » Jefff, posted by Alan on October 19, 2002, at 23:02:14
"> Can you expand on why you are not prescribed xanax if that's what works for you? Klonopin is well known for causing irritibility and even depression and rage in a sizeable segment of the population taking dosages high enough for their situation.....it's all side effect.
> Is your doctor a benzophobe or do they not realise that different bzds cause different reactions to differing individuals, or do you have a history of D/Abuse or.....?
> Curious,
> Alan"Alan,
Ill have to start my long winded answer by saying that I have in my lifetime done recreational drugs (hate alcohol though) but no, I have no history of drug abuse. OK, I do still smoke too much pot- which I dont tell my psych. about as I dont want him to all of a sudden attribute all of my problems to pot use.
When I began going for therapy in 95 (weekly with a social worker) I was adamant about not taking any medications as I didnt think meds were going to cure my severe emotional problems. But a severe depressive episode and the strong suggestion from my therapist in 96 quickly changed my mind about that and I allowed the psychiatrist at the place (they call it a guidance center) to put me on Prozac. It got me out of the severity of the irrational depression (I was crazily convinced and literally suicidal once again over my belief that I was going bald- which btw I wasnt) but Ive always been depressed even before and still after that. I stopped taking the Prozac about two or so years later as it wasnt doing anything at all and I was still hoping my weekly therapy was going to help (It didnt). Then in 12/99 I asked the Psych to put me on Paxil which Ive been on ever since. Its been useless.
So...after going out of my mind (particularly severely so in the past few months) with anxiety, rage, depression and just internal angst I did some net research last month, found this site, and learned that Benzos are what I need. My shrink appointent wasnt for another few weeks so my roomate was able to get me some Xanax from someone- about 1.5mg a day for about four days and as I said it totally normalized me. Yes, I felt a bit dopey but it was the calming, anti anger, anti anxiety, anti racing thought properties that made me so thrilled with it.
And then when my shrink appt. came I explained to him that Id been doing a lot of research on the net and that I had concluded that I needed Benzos (and I didnt tell him I had sampled the Xanax although now I think I should have). Anyway he immediately launched into how they are soooooooo addictive, blah, blah blah. He didnt give a crap about what I had to say about what Id read. I got to the point to where I got totally furious and irrate with him and started balling him out for having no problem pumping me full of paxil for three years (which he denies/miniizes the withdrawal of that) when he knows damn well that Ive been imprisoned in my house due to severe anxiety etc for seven years now and he can obviously see that the Paxil wasnt doing crap for me.... and yet when I finally opened my mouth and ask for what I believe/knew would help he gave me hell over it and was going to allow me to suffer rather than give it to me.
He absolutely refused to give me the Xanax claiming that it would only work for a short period, then make me feel worse when I came down and all this other crap. I honestly wasnt really even listening as I wanted to strangle him at that moment.
I cant believe he finally even gave in and gave me the Clonazepam, and im sure he only did that because I was making such an issue (of him being so oblivious and incompetent---although I didnt use that word).
Nedless to say Ive had it with him so I made my next medical appointment with the only other person there (a nurse practitioner). I really doubt that she's going to be any different and I doubt Ill get the Xanax from her either.
Jeff
poster:Jefff
thread:124171
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021019/msgs/124333.html