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Anxiety when going off Topamax? Need your help!

Posted by Jet on October 13, 2002, at 16:52:50

I have been taking Topamax for over a year. At first, the medication worked great for a few months. I felt as if I had come out of a coma! Before the Topa, I had tried many AD's and they did not work for me, so my pdoc thought that this would work and he was right, it did - I was back the way I was in my 20's: laughing, cooking, cleaning all without having to force myself to do these functions.

I have mood swings, what used to be called PMS - now I think they call it bi-polar. I really don't know because I not only have a chemical imbalance but my hormones aren't right either. I just don't feel very well much of the time, with ups and downs. I feel heat in the back of my neck most of the time - which the Topa does help. Before the Topa, I could feel the "bad time" lifting - my thoughts would improve and my head would clear as the day went on and that would last for a few weeks and then the dark days would gradually take over and last for a few weeks and then it would start all over again. My OB doc labeled it PMS a few years back and removed my ovaries, along with everything else, telling me that without them, my PMS would go away. That was many years ago. So, now I do have hormonal imbalances as well.

My point is, I have been on the Topa for a year and it worked great at first, then slowly began to "poop" out. I was on Dexedrine at the time and have been for the last 3 years. I usually take 2 daily - even though my script is for 3 (5 mg each dose & some days I skip and don't take any).

The side effects from the Topa have been: dry eyes, no sex drive & sexual dysfunction, drying out of joints, worsening of arthritis (all over), weight loss of 30 pounds, dry scalp, aggressive behavior in the early days, trouble falling asleep, cognitive dulling: cannot remember things, trouble finding words, dulled thinking in general.

I recently tried to go off of Topa and did it very slowly - I was up to 400 mg and have been going down in 2 week intervals. I am now down to 300. My problem is that I am now worrying all the time - and that is not normal for me. I am unable to get in to see my pdoc for 2 more weeks so I am going to go back up to 350 of the Topa to see if that helps in the meantime. I am driving my husband nuts though. I am way too clingy to him and needy. It is not like me to be this way. What is going on? In my head I am thinking too much and over-analying everything and I do not do this normally. I used to go into a depressed state during my "bad times" and even just go to bed, not caring what happened around me. Never did I worry like this or act like this with him - it's very strange. Is this anxiety? I could use some advice here. Is this a side-effect of coming off the Topa?

I have also wondered about staying on a lower dose of Topa and adding something. I am leary of coming off of it now. The main reason I am going off of the Topa is because it is drying my joints out so badly and also because it seems to make me a bit more stupid than I should be - :)

My problems as of right now are: I have a very hard time thinking clearly at times - which makes it very difficult because I have a job that I work at 40 hours a week. At times I could just sit at stare into space and have trouble getting motivated to do things. I don't feel really depressed about things, I just am not motivated to get things done. I feel at times like I am not here and cannot focus on what is going on. The other day I took 1 1/2 a Dexedrine for the first time and it did seem to make a difference. Maybe I just need to talk to my pdoc about a change in dosages. I was also thinking about adding something to the mix, but I don't know what to ask for?
I currently take:
Topa 350
Dex 5 mg 2X daily
Ambien 10 mg as needed
Provocol 40 mg daily

I am not sure what to do here and would appreciate input from any of you. And please be gentle with your responses - I am in a very tender place right now.

PS - I used to have a song in my head all the time - It is now gone. I am serious - I would go around singing or humming all the time and didn't even realize it. I no longer do that and it makes me sad. What is my brain trying to tell me?

Thanks for taking the time to read this and help me. I do not post very often, but do read posts all the time and apprecaite everyone in here very much.

Jet


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