Posted by Arthur Gibson on September 29, 2002, at 6:33:15
I am one of the lucky ones.
I developed depression six years ago and did not know what it was. I took six weeks off work, had no treatment, never saw a doctor and made a full recovery. I never realised that I had had depression.
A few months ago it returned with a vengeance and nearly killed me. My doctor diagnosed depression, put me on PROZAC, after much prevarication that I have explained elsewhere on this board, (“How the British National Health treat depression”) and I recovered within about seven weeks.
Now I am as fit as a fiddle, still on PROZAC but hanging round this board to give support here and there. I think that its important for the lucky ones to stay behind and try to help the “drug resistant ones” who seem to compose most of the contributors to this board.
So why am I lucky and others not so? I have a theory.
When I became seriously depressed a few months a ago I had a serious personal, psychological problem. I am too ashamed to tell you what it was, so you will never know what I mean. I did not even know that I had the problem. I only found it after I read a book that contained the theory that you only recover from depression when you find, face and tackle the root cause of the problem, regardless of what drugs you take.
I was about three weeks into the PROZAC at this time and the drug did assist me to analyse my life and my subconscious problems and eventually I came across the cause of my depression. Again, I repeat, I cannot tell you what it was because I feel a fool about it. But it does not matter, because your problems are not mine, so your problem will be different and have nothing to do with mine.
Once I found the problem and faced and solved it, which I did, even though the process was very painful, I made a swift recovery from my depression.
Mr Sad Puppy Dog says of me: “Its obvious you never had severe depression before. I find your posts inflammatory to those with severe mental illness.” In a way he is right. I only suffered from severe depression for a few months and made a “lucky” recovery. (Although who knows what terror the future holds for me.) Nevertheless the question remains, why did I recover and people like Mr SPD and many others are still going through hell after many years of illness?
Mr SPD, who is one of the smartest people on this board, thinks that exercise and a constant searching for the right drug therapy is the solution to aim for. He may be right. However I suspect that all the drugs in the world are not going to assist unless we face up to the demons inside us.
I found a dark devil deep within my thinking that needed to be expelled. It was an erroneous bit of my thinking that was undermining my whole concious thought. Once I realised the problem and took steps to correct the thinking and deal with the results in the wider real world (my business and family for example) there was no reason for my depression and it lifted.
Now I agree with Mr SPD that the drug (and exercise) (and fish oil) (he does not agree with the latter) was vital to this recovery. Without PROZAC I would not have had the strength to deal with my inner problem. But what I am further saying is that I believe that if I had not faced and dealt with my problem, I would still be in the depths of suicidal depression now.
So so far as I am cobcerned it’s a question of “what’s your problem?” What is the root cause of Jeff’s and Mr SPD’S and maybe your depression?
OK Jeff can think of lots of reasons why he is down, no money, no lovers etc. But that is not what I am asking. I am asking what is the ROOT cause of all this misery in your lives?
Finding the ROOT cause may be difficult, if not impossible. But the mission to seek it out and correct it may be vital to your recovery.
I very much doubt that it will be a physical cause. Lost lover or job or whatever. This may have apparantly caused your depression, but more likely it will be the way your subconcious mind handled the problem that caused the depression to grow.
Depression can grow unnoticed for years before it breaks through into the concious mind and the seven pound weight of depression becomes implanted in our brains. A bit of dysfunctional thinking will be the seed from which all this trouble grows. Dig back to find that seed and destroy it in your thinking and maybe you will find that your “drug resistant” depression will melt away like snow in the sun?
My best wishes and love to you all.
Arthur
poster:Arthur Gibson
thread:121482
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020922/msgs/121482.html