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Re: AUDREY » McPac

Posted by audrey on September 15, 2002, at 22:21:00

In reply to AUDREY, posted by McPac on September 15, 2002, at 17:26:07

Hi McPac,

My e-mail address is audrey_ellison@hotmail.com. Any help would be appreciated! Also, I thought I'd replied to your response to one of my earlier posts, but it didn't seem to show up. Thanks, though.

And thanks to everyone else's responses. I guess I did indeed "gloss over" the suicide attempt. Over the last few months it's become such a part of my life (thinking seriously about suicide) that it just almost seems normal. That's a really screwed up way to go through life. I just can't stand living this way, you know? Ironically, my husband and I both work at a large hospital, and I guess I'm paranoid about people finding out what's going on with me. Since I work in a small part of the medical field, everyone pretty much knows everyone else, even though I live in a city with several large hospitals. I do have insurance, I could take time off, paid or not, but everytime I think about having to tell my boss that I'm taking the time off, I freak out about it. Yeah, she doesn't have to know why, but I guess because my whole life I've "held it together," (straight A's, good schools, good jobs, etc.) having to admit that I'm so sick that I need to just let go means I lose. But, yup, I'm pretty much losing now, aren't I?

OK, just venting a little here. I guess I just need to figure some things out and have a good talk with my doctor. Thinking back on it, maybe I haven't been as CANDID as I should have been, but a lot of that has to do with going into his office and being that "perfect" person, not admitting that I'm a complete raving lunatic, just a little bit of a lunatic.

Thanks again for everyone's honest answers.

Audrey


> If you leave your e-mail address, I will send you some very helpful info.
> Take care!


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