Posted by Dinah on August 11, 2002, at 14:22:17
In reply to Re: schizotypal personality disorder » Dinah, posted by Kari on August 11, 2002, at 10:30:45
> Hi Dinah,
>
> The first thing I have to mention is that I always enjoy reading your posts and find it difficult to understand what you mean by "odd ways of expressing yourself", as you always express youself so clearly and to the point :)Thank you, Kari. :) I guess the sort of thing my therapist would show as examples is like right now I'm experiencing some lightheadedness and grogginess from Effexor withdrawal (I hope). But my natural way of saying that would be to say that it felt my brain had been replaced by a viscous fluid that was sloshing about when I moved. I prefer to think of it as imaginative, (grin) but my therapist often has difficulty following me. I'll say I'm "whooshing" when I mean I'm experiencing derealization, or that "the wind is hurting my arms" when I'm feeling agitated. That sort of thing.
>
> Are you still on depakote? Do you find it helpful for symptoms such as blunted emotions?
>
Depakote neither hurts nor helps. I've gradually come to believe the blunted emotions are a combination of strong dissociative skills and some Aspergerish qualities. But given my family history, I don't completely rule out schizotypal personality disorder either.> In response to your question, I have never been diagnosed with SPD. My Pdocs have generally stated that they don't know what I suffer from, though in the past I have received mistaken diagnoses from both extreme ends of the schizo spectrum. The assumption that SPD is the proper diagnosis is mine, based on symptoms like blunted emotions, severe social anxiety and communication problems, living in an internal world, autistic tendencies and a tendency to lose the capability for reality testing during stress.
>
Hmm. A lot of that does describe me. Although I don't really have social anxiety. I am withdrawn (off board) but I like it that way. Have you looked into Asperger's? I understand that there is some diagnosis overlap. I tend to think Aspergerish for myself because I have a lot of the neurological signs, like toe walking and having to motor through things.> The only AP I ever tried was perphenazine, which even at a low dose was difficult to bear, though it had some effect on emotional blunting. Perhaps an atypical AP would yield better results but perphenazine has given me tardive dyskinesia, bouts of dystonia and parkinsonism every now and then (even years after going off the drug) and an intense fear of going anywhere near another neuroleptic. So all I can consider taking is celexa, which at the proper dose elminates all symptoms of anxiety and depression but leaves the negative symptoms of SPD unchanged.
>
I've got to say, SSRI's can cause the negative symptoms in just about anyone. And can certainly exacerbate them in vulnerable people. I always say (and this would be one of the schizotypal things according to my therapist) that SSRI's work by increasing the tension and distance between your feeling self and your thinking self, and since I already have a high degree of tension between the two, that SSRI's cause me to overshoot the desired distance. I don't know if that makes any sense.> Sorry I don't know of any books on the subject. There doesn't seem to be much about it on the internet, either, except for the repetition of DSM criteria, as you have already seen :)
>
Yeah, it makes it tough to decide if you have it or not when you can't find much info on it. If I just read the DSM criteria for most any personality disorder, I can convince myself I have it. I did have elevated scores on scales 2,7,&8 on the MMPI which would be consistent with schizotypal personality disorder, but that isn't adequate to diagnose it.> Do you suffer from symptoms such as odd sensations or perceptions, social anxiety and being "trapped" in your own world? Most schizotypals seem to. Have you considered asking your therapist for more information and an explanation of the condition she suspects you suffer from? In any case, regardless of your diagnosis, I hope you find your therapy helpful and that you are able to work on the issues which you feel need to be worked on.
>
We've discussed it ad nauseum, when it first came up. I really didn't know what a personality disorder was when my pdoc first suggested I had one, and my feelings were really hurt. They really ought to change that classification name.I do have what some people may consider odd perceptions I guess. I am extremely aware of what is happening in my body, and I might experience anxiety or anger, for example as being broken into isolated physical effects, rather than saying I'm angry or I'm anxious. And I firmly believe I pick up the emotional energy of other people. My perceptions are usually quite accurate however, so I'm not sure that they are odd at all. I think I just have extra sensitive antennae for that sort of thing. But what other people would think is what would matter in schizotypal I suppose. I can't imagine why my therapist would consider it an odd belief though, when I repeatedly show in therapy that I really can read his moods. Maybe it's just the way I express it.
> Sorry I couldn't be of any more help, but if you have any further questions, please let me know.
>
Oh no, it's of enormous help just to find someone I can discuss this with. I'd love to hear your reactions to what I described.
> Take care,
> Kari.You too,
Dinah
>
>
poster:Dinah
thread:115917
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020807/msgs/116069.html