Posted by Essence on July 22, 2002, at 17:41:02
In reply to I don't feel good, posted by deli on July 22, 2002, at 15:41:57
Deli;
I read your post and think back 13 yrs ago (I was 28 yrs old) when this first started for me. I felt exactly the way you do now. I was always an energetic, in charge, strong, intellectual person. I was a loving wife, mom, dgtr, sister, etc. Then depression hit, along with anxiety and panic attacks. I was hospitalized twice in less than two months. I became indifferent towards my kids and my husband and my family and friends. I withdrew into my own black hell hole. I cried for the person I once was and would no longer be again (or so it seemed at the time). I hated people that were happy and getting on with life, I was resentful, jealous and downright pissed off that I was afflicted with this illness. It just wasn't fair, I didn't deserve this, I wanted to die. I was so fortunate to have a wonderful GP who took care of me at the time. He kept me in our local hospital and didn't send me to a mental hospital for my care. He worked closely via phone with a psydoc to get me on the mend and prescribed my first anti-d, it didn't work, he tried another, this time with success. I think my biggest barrier in my initial recovery was the fact that I did NOT want to be on meds, I saw this as a sign of weakness. That was so far from the truth now that I can look back. A strong person knows when to ask for help and will seek it. Your right about one thing, you will never be the person you were before this started. No one is once they have any kind of illness, be it physical or mental. You will be a better person because of it. What others take for granted, you will cherish. Deli, you will get better, please always remember that and never lose hope.
Ess
poster:Essence
thread:113290
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020718/msgs/113316.html