Posted by oona on July 7, 2002, at 11:05:59
In reply to I am so sick of life!, posted by BarbaraCat on July 6, 2002, at 22:56:45
Hi BarbaraCat,
Wish I could offer words of support and not bring this back selfishly to myself but when I read your post it just mirrored exactly how I am feeling.
My meds are not working yet, and I do not know how long I am supposed to wait till they do. Also feeling blue and fantasizing how to end it all or maybe just to walk away and be a street lady somewhere. Knowing that I will just stay here and hope the blues lift. My job is the ONLY thing that keeps me sane (or Insane, not sure).. Just that I have to get up every morning, take a shower, put on clean clothes and drive to work, maintain a composure and be productive. I do not want to live my life like this. I have no friends except my husband and lately not even him. Can not confide to my co-workers. and my visits to my pdoc are mainly for drug maintenance screening. Even if I did get analysis, which my husband says I should, cuz of my ongoing depression and unhappiness, What will it help? I KNOW where my problems started. I KNOW what I have to do. I KNOW & SEE all of it but here I am, in the endless circle, back to square 1.
Just like you are striving with your health regime. How much can we do? Why can we not see some results?
Sure, it is the disease that is doing this to us and it will pass and we will laugh again.
Sorry for going on about myself, but just to let you know that knowing others are feeling what I am feeling, makes me a little less desparate.
For now, I will put on my old boots and go out to the garden and shovel some manure and hope that helps.
Hope you are feeling better soon.
peace,
oona
poster:oona
thread:111619
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020628/msgs/111655.html