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Re: Help Antidepressant for Musician

Posted by Jerrympls on July 2, 2002, at 20:06:21

In reply to Help Antidepressant for Musician , posted by linkadge on July 1, 2002, at 17:31:42

Linkadge-

I can certainly empathize with you. I am a cellist and a huge fan of film scores. I've been battling depression for 10 years (I'm 30) and I can tell you that one of the worst effects of depression is when it takes the warm feeling of music away. It's horrible and empty. Major chords don't ring, beautiful melodies are greyed out.....terrible.

In my experience some SSRIs have helped and some have blunted my musical emotions. I think Luvox was the best - as far as NOT making the music stop. I've been on all the SSRIs, Remeron, Serzone, Trazodone, Effexor, ascendin, nortriptyline, imipramine, naltrexone, ritalin, adderall, dexedrine, wellbutrin, tegretol, nurontin, lithium, seroquel (great med but made me fat), provigil and currently desipramine (w/ dexedrine).

Contrary to what others have posted about Desipramine - as far as in my personal experiences - did not bring back the music and while the addition of dexedrine did help, the symphony inside feventually faded. Wellbutrin made me to anxious to think about music and Remeron kept me in bed asleep. Serzone didn't seem to bring on too much apathy for me and niether did Trazodone. Trazodone was the first AD I was put on 10 years ago.....at 75mg and in two weeks I was loving life and composing music and falling in love. After about 3 months on it I thought I was "back on track" and went off of it. The depression returned and every attempt to ward it off with Trazodone and every other medication failed - as did ECT. Don't ever do ECT if you are a musician--in my opinion. It robs you of the song inside. It erased my memory and I had to relearn how to read music. This is just my experience , however, I would warn any artist to steer clear of ECT.

Anyhow, I believe this flattening of music within has to do alot with Dopamine. When I took Ritalin, in a hour I was enjoying music again - singing and playing and making tapes - the warm feeling of music came back....at least for a couple hours each day. Also, I've noticed whenever I've been on a med like Vicodin or Darvocet (in the past for dental procedures, etc) I've noticed that I don't get "high" but I have had a better sense of well-being and the music was back and singing loudly. Now I'm on Desipramine and I basically have side effects and no good effects.

I don't know if any of this can help you - remember they are just MY experiences. But, I at least wanted to tell you - musician to musician - that you aren't alone. Hopefully some day soon we'll hear -- and feel the music again.....

Good luck

Jerry

> I was diagnosed with depression a year ago
> and have since been sustained with varying ammounts of celexa. I am currently on 10 mg.
> I am in a delema and want help from anyone who can help. I play the piano and am going to try my grade 10 in 2 months. Without celexa my anxiety would be to great for me to practice. On the celexa I can practice I just seem to loose musical motivation. It is very hard to explain I think It may have something to do with dopamine.
> I am happy, I enjoy Seinfeld more than ever, I just don't enjoy the piano like I used to. The notes just don't envoke the same emotion. I find my mind just drifts right in the middle of practicing. I can concentrate on math and even reading but just not music. I was wondering if Remeron would be a better alternative. Music lovers out there, which AD's affect your appreciation of music the most. The music doesn't go through my mind like it did. Without Celexa I stay up all night with Mozart going through my mind. Don't get me wrong - It is not a stupifying effect of the Celexa - lingusitically I am faster than ever - jokes and humour come much more easily to me just not music. I know I've been bableing but help me out here anybody.
>
> Linkadge


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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020628/msgs/111233.html