Posted by Cece on June 13, 2002, at 23:31:51
I was interviewed recently by a reporter for the NY Times for a story on Reverse SAD. She found me
through a post that I made last year on P-B (Dr. Bob did not give her my personal info- just
forwarded her inquiry to me and left it to me whether to respond or not). It will be appearing soon in
a special supplement on Women's Health although it is not a problem unique to women. It has been
reasearched some but the cause is not known.Now I know for sure that there are others like me out there!
Most people with RSAD report that it is the heat that gets to them. But I seem to suffer most from the bright light of summer- I feel like it is attacking me. It is so much more intense than bright light days in other seasons. I become depressed, anxious, and socially withdrawn, and I want to stay inside during the hot bright hours of the day. Although where I live is relatively cool (Northern CA), I become virtually non-functional in a heat spell (we just had one and I was a real mess). Cold showers and swimming help some, but I get so depressed that it is hard to be good to myself. It is also dry, dry, dry here in the Summer and the lack of rain builds up a tension in me. August is my worst month usually, building from mid-June. I don't really feel okay until October when a breeze comes up with that smell of Autumn. I begin to relax and feel like I am being released.
I actually like the long days of summer since I like to be outdoors (I work with plants)- or rather I should say, I like the long twilights. Although I like the quiet of winter (except for the stress of the holidays), I get frustrated by not being able to be outside so much in the evening.
My favorite months are April and October, when the light is more balanced between night and day. I can get hypomanic in Spring if I don't watch myself and back off when I see that I am getting wound up. I can cool down with either a little (100mg) extra Neurontin, or a little (.63mg) Zyprexa as needed, and by consciously reining myself in. Usually, I take 900mg Neurontin and no Zyprexa. I would take the Zyprexa regularly except for the weight gain- it does a lot for my overall sanity. I take a bunch of other meds, and am trying to pare the cocktail down to the bare essentials- it got layered on over many years. I am BPII with a long history of depression.
I also like 'weather'- changes in weather, storms, clouds. If the air is clean I feel better in any season, and there's nothing like a good rain to clean the air. There's not a lot of 'weather' where I live.
I am also bothered by very bright light in general. Walking into a brightly lit convenience store is torture for me. Again, I feel attacked by the glare.
I have had these symptoms of RSAD since my 20's (I'm now 53), but didn't really begin to see the pattern til my 30's, and didn't clearly see it til I began treatment for my BP about 10 years ago.
I am convinced that this pattern has connection to my BP as both are cycling disorders.
Working with nature, I observe that we live out of synch with the natural cycles. With plants, I see that Winter is rest and restoration, Spring is vigor and new growth, Summer is the slow fruition of Spring, and Autumn is letting go and preparing for rest. We live, most of us, at a hectic pace year round, not able to respect our place in nature. I feel much better in Summer if I can move at a very slow pace and have few worldly pressures- not very easy to come by except in small snatches.
One thing I learned from the NY Times reporter is that RSAD is mostly reported in countries near the Equator. This really puzzles me since there is much less seasonal variation in that part of the globe than anywhere else. Is it just not reported in other latitudes?
I'd be interested to hear from others who experience anything similar. I'm also going to begin a new thread on something that is related to this: Day is day and night is night.
Thanks,
Cece
poster:Cece
thread:109762
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020609/msgs/109762.html