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Re: unhappy with my doc today » cmcdougall

Posted by sid on May 2, 2002, at 12:57:52

In reply to Re: unhappy with my doc today » sid, posted by cmcdougall on May 2, 2002, at 12:28:17

Hi Carly, thanks for your answer... I did cool off during lunch and now it seems relatively unimportant, although I do want to get the dosage issue straightened out. I know that 75md a day is low, but it's been working so far, and 3 weeks ago, I changed the time when I take it (with dinner instead of breakfast), and it's working even better. I tend to think: why fix it if it ain't broke? I have a LOT of work ahead of me, in the next couple of months, and I really don't want to mess with dosage changes and side effects if I don't have to.

> ps. The only time I believe that we should TRY to change is when our behaviors have a negative impact, either in our own lives or someone else's.

I believe that too. I truly think that the best I can be is how I currently am. Concretely: single - I don't want to be part of a couple, and everybody treats me like I have some terrible disease because of it. People ask you if you are married, if you have a boyfriend, if you're gay, nowadays even if you like animals! But they can't take "I just prefer to be alone." I go to the movies alone because you're not supposed to talk durin a movie in a movie theater anyway - my doc even had a problem with THAT! I'm apparently supposed to like to have company when I go to the movies. What am I? 6 years old? From most people's point of view, it's not right to spend your life alone, but from my point of view, it's the right thing to do. My doc apparently belongs to the most-people-club, and she wants me to join it too. It seems to me I'm making a personal choice and it's nobody's business but mine. My family bothers me with that, my friends (so now I even avoid them!), my former psychotherapist and now my doc. Geez. I might wanna try being, I don't know, a swinger or something, it is best accepted nowadays than being single and celibate.
- You have no one?
- No.
- Not even a lover?
- No.
- What's wrong with you?
- Nothing.
- Oh here, let me increase your dosage!

That's what my life is like, a lit of fun, I tell ya! I have so many interests, I do stuff all the time, I'm NEVER bored (especially now that I'm not depressed anymore). Few people can say that, I consider myself lucky. I don't see a problem in my life, but it does bother most people that I don't fit in the couple-family mold. I'm starting to believe Sartre: "Hell is others." I'm perfectly fine with myself, if only people can let me be.


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poster:sid thread:104752
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