Posted by allisonm on March 30, 2002, at 20:35:39
In reply to Do you live ALONE w/ your illness or what?, posted by Janelle on March 30, 2002, at 16:11:59
I live alone. My husband left me, partly he says, because he thought I would never get better and that I would be depressed for the rest of my life. My mother is dead but was often unavailable when alive because she was a chronic alcoholic and depressed herself. She tried to help me, though. My father does not understand what depression is and thinks there should not be a problem because I'm "the most level-headed girl" he knows. He also does not believe in taking drugs or going to doctors.
I tried to talk about it with a boss once because she had admitted that she'd been treated for depression before. However, she used my information against me later on.
I have lost friends over this because I was so immersed in it that they didn't really want to be around me or listen to me, so they faded away. Two of my friends know what depression feels like and can empathize, but I try not to dwell on my situation as I don't want to turn them away. Other friends have tried to guess what it's like, but do not understand why thinking positive thoughts doesn't do the trick all by itself. I also find that if I dwell on the subject, they withdraw.For this reason, I rarely talk to anyone about it anymore.
For a long time, my pdoc, who is also my therapist, was my only support system. In the last year, I have found another friend who has been through similar things and can empathize with me and has supported me. He's been feeling better -- so much so that he's off ADs. I have been feeling a lot better within the last year -- partly because I think I have a pretty good (but fairly high dose) drug combo that is finally but not perfectly working, but also because of the companionship of my friend, and a major change I have made in my life and career.
poster:allisonm
thread:101007
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020327/msgs/101024.html