Posted by Zo on March 26, 2002, at 3:08:40
In reply to Lamictal beneficiaries- A Question for you. . ., posted by Bekka H. on March 24, 2002, at 17:07:00
Bekka, hi. . .Lamictal ended like a twenty-year run of depression for me, about six months ago. It was quite a surprise. I was put on it for mood stabilization--but the fact that I have BP II was rather elusive. . .because it was mostly down!
The quality of the relief is--just, it's gone. Feels quite natural, as if I were always this way--except of course a shock at first. I'm not high, I'm not low, I'm just. . .not depressed. If there's a blow, I feel awful--and bounce right back. My pdoc has always talked in terms of Resilience. Now I see what he means.
I'm painting again. Yes, I am motivated to do the things that interest and please me. I still proceed quite slowly, but most often, with great internal pleasure and satisfaction. As I say, it just feels like I've always been this way. . (.Ha!)
Sooo. I got my shreds of a fine and promising novel all together again (I can't tell you how many times I've been "discovered" and all I had was a big box of pages) , ended a draining relationship---everything was blurred by that constant pain, I couldn't make intelligent choices for myself.
I know exactly what you mean about SSRIs. I was already on Effexor and Dexedrine, have been thru a zillion drugs, a zillion hours of therapy. But when it cleared--I was simply left with. . .life. Sometimes apathy comes and visits. . .so I turn it into a book-reading fest or some such. It's so much easier to have what really was some kind of resistance or the inablity to flow. Speaking of Sticky Switches. It's awful when the switch gets stuck to Off.
I don't have the insomnia--quite the opposite. What's your dose? I'm doing so well at 250mg. And, I think it's well worth taking a sleep agent alongside, if need be. So no, I don't think you should toss in the Lamictal towel just yet. . .
Best, Zo
poster:Zo
thread:99911
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020322/msgs/100199.html